Don't take that first bite, i did and am in sugar all over again

[nevertoolate]

it's easier to stay abstinent than to get abstinent

[personaltrainer]

Hey Marilyn,

Are you managing to make any of the telephone meetings? What tools are you using other than the forum and weekend chat room meeting?

[lastchance]

I recently told a family member who tried FAA for awhile that when I ate those frozen fillet fillets, tater tots, and chicken pot pie the other day, it tasted HORRIBLE, fake, not like REAL food, and she said, "Yes, but a few meals of eating it, and it starts all over again. Suddenly it tastes GOOD and you start craving it again, and it takes weeks to get that feeling back where only healthy, whole foods taste good." You're right, Marilyn, we don't need to take that first bite, but we're only human and I'm afraid we're going to do it on occasion. At least I know I am ... How are you doing today? We just have to get back in the saddle, climb back on the wagon, keep our eye on the prize, re-focus and re-group. You can do it!

[nevertoolate]

i've been using every tool available to me, this is my fault, not the program.
marilyn
this is my first sugar relapse in almost 3 months
maybe I need to know what I'm "missing" is not worth it....a refresher course in fast food parking lot misery....remembering the loneliness before FAA and all the other things that go with food addiction....that make going back for some sweetness not worth it in the long run...or maybe I'm just rationalizing...

[lastchance]

Marilyn: I think everything you are saying makes some very good points. I have thought the same thing a couple of times. That I need to see and feel "what I am missing" in order to stay on track. And the "what I am missing" is the fleeting, momentary pleasure as the food hits my taste buds, and the lingering lethary, blahness, and yulkiness that my entire body feels afterward.

[nevertoolate]

IT'S NOT WORTH IT
yulkiness?:redface:

[lastchance]

When I typed that, I wondered if it was a word. :uncomfortableness:

[tropical3]

Hi...all the sugar destroys me...it takes days, weeks, months to get back that recovery. I am back. The sugar doesn't even taste good as I am remembing my last sugar binge and how sick and swollen my stomach was. Even laying bed was not helping. Thanks for sharing. Mary

[nevertoolate]

Hey, tropical, how are you doing? It's not worth it, is it? Today is first day off sugar again (after 2 day binge).....one day at a time....LIFE IS GOOD, EVERY DAY.
Marilyn:redface:

[tropical3]

Hey Marilyn, thanks for asking. Better now, the complusion has been lifted. The sugar has always been my best friend, who now turned into a nightmare. It was so simple, I could binge at home alone, I could go out and sit among people while binging. Go to the next place, etc. etc. I could count on it being there...now it is a stalker. Today, I feel clean....how grateful I am. God Bless. Mary PS: Lonliness hurts:sorrow:

[nevertoolate]

yes, lonliness does hurt, thank goodness for this website and the chat room, one can always meet to chat in there for a few minutes.....
Marilyn in Ohio, 72, and 3 cats:chuncky:
take care Mary

[nevertoolate]

It's easier to stay ABSTINENT THAN TO GET ABSTINENT AGAIN>
marilyn

[tropical3]

Hey Marilyn, Been thinking today if I did 28 days clean....I can do it again. Hug, Mary and Shamrock (dog)
PS: We lost our cat Joey 16 1/2 y/o about 1 1/2 months ago. Also thinking about getting a kitty, my Shamrock (almost 17 y/o) is lost without him as am I.
Thanks for posting.

[nevertoolate]

Hey, tropical, I'm up at 3 a.m., thinking is there something I still wanted to eat before going back on the food plan again, took cremora back and drinking it now in my coffee....it's always the same with eating a bunch of junk food, the first few bites are great, and then comes the shame and guilt....that's so much of it also....it's not just the food....what's with the shame and guilt...how did we get all those feelings attached to food?.....was sitting in a parking lot last night eating my bag of goodies from McD thinking this is good, I'd lie if I said it didn't taste good, but I didn't stop with that...went and got more stuff and of course, it has nothing to do with hunger....not physical hunger anyway......emotional hunger is a very real thing I believe, what do you think?
marilyn

[tropical3]

Hi Marilyn, By the grace of God and lady in chat room last night, I am abstinent for a 2nd day. I do agree...mostly for me always emotional. I also walked today. I am you and you are me. McD's is for me the lion's den. Looking back, that is usually where I break my abstinence and always for some drink that is very sweet. You can and will start again...why not now. You and I can start abstinence at any time of the day. It use to be I'll start tomorrow and eat nothing but sugar the rest of the day. Little by slowly I am getting better with that. I want to live a fulfilling life and I cannot get there unless I choose God and recovery first. Hug, Mary

[nevertoolate]

Hey, Mary, it's starting to get chilly up here in ohio, aren't you in Florida?
you are right, we can get abstinent at any time of the day...today has been a bad eating day, flour mostly, I have cremora in my kitchen right now and am about to have a big cup of coffee....cremora has a lot of sugar or something, lots of calories the way I use it....I've thrown it away before and can throw it away right now I guess....and start over....a neighbor just called to tell me there is a very pregnant cat near where I live but I can't take this one in ( I rescue cats)...and that upsets me......I feed feral cats (about 10 a day) get free food from animal shelters......it's my passion, cats.....
anyway, I could start right now, you're right, and get back on track....maybe if I get into chat room tonight there will be someone there...I usually drop in around 7 or so just to see.... and sometimes during the night.....all right I will throw away the creamer adn use reg milk, that will be a start and not go out and get junk at least tonight...and not sit here and think what the heck else I wanted to eat tomorrow!!!!!!
marilyn thanks mary :redface:

[tropical3]

Way to go Marilyn!!!:triumphant:

[nevertoolate]

THANKS, MARY!:chuncky:
Onward
marilyn
I want to feel good about myself again, know what I mean?

[Step One Australia]

Hi Ladies
I hope you don't mind me jumping in here. I just started FAA ten days ago and unfortunately picked up the flour and sugar on Saturday night, I am still in it today, feeling numb, lonely and a bit sick in the stomach. I jumped in here too because I saw my favourite word featured "cats"! I have two, Max and Timna. I love cats.
Anyway, I am going to a meeting tonight, our first meeting in Melbourne Australia, and have my call with my sponsor in the morning as well as beautiful program food to prepare for tomorrow. I find it so interesting sometimes how my default position is to harm myself with food. I have been doing it for so long, it feels so natural, even though I am slowly killing myself and my true love of life at the same time.
If I got abstinent before, I can do it again. Thinking of you Ladies too. Thanks for reading.
Katie

[tropical3]

Hi...Welcome! Cat lover too! Lover of recovery! I like your statement "my default position is to harm myself with food"...I relate so much to this it is scary. Meow, Mary

[step3]

I'm so glad you're all here in Online Support. Food addiction is such a killer disease! I was relieved beyond words to find that I have an actual addiction, a disease of my body, mind/emotions & spirit. I never could understand why I ate and binged the way I did. No one else I knew did that, and no one else was as big as I was!

Thank God for the solution offered here in Food Addicts Anonymous. What worked for me was to get onto the suggested FAA food plan, get and use my sponsor (I called her every day for well over a year), work the Steps, go to lots of FAA meetings, write in my journal or write Dear God letters, etc.

I think getting through withdrawal was a very tough time. But it was so wonderful and amazing that in a week the cravings for sugar/flour/wheat left me! I learned that I also am prone to "emotional eating", so I have to use the Tools of Recovery (there are 15 of them: pages 287-290 in the FAA Green Book) to give me a choice other than using food as my higher power to deal with my difficult emotions. The tool I've been using a lot lately (and which works wonders) is the tool of writing. I have worked through SO much doing that! I've journalled in the past, but it's not my favorite thing to do. But it works, so I'm doing it. I also talk with my awesome, wonderful sponsor and she's a real God-send.

I heard something really good at a meeting last night: "If you want to know why you're eating, stop eating!". As I continue to stay abstinent, my recovery is evolving along with my self, and I see the truth in this saying.

To all on this thread... keep coming, and don't quit trying, no matter what! Abstinence, recovery, and connection with ourselves, our Higher Power, and others is worth it. "Whatever it takes" is my new motto! :encouragement:

[nevertoolate]

HI KATIE IN AUSTRALIA!
It's great that you will have a face to face meeting to go to.....and that you have a sponsor...
the very best to you Katie
marilyn in ohio
also getting back on track, it wasn't worth it....(the junk food):redface:
cats are great, aren't they?

[hopkinssusan33]

that is so true. I just came back to FAA after a long relapse. I pray to my HP to help me gain back my control

[nevertoolate]

WELCOME BACK HOPKINS!
GOOD FOR YOU FOR COMING BACK.......many good online supportive people here for you
:redface:Marilyn in Ohio

[TYGtoday]

that is so true. I just came back to FAA after a long relapse. I pray to my HP to help me gain back my control

Welcome back, hopkinssusan33! Recovery can definitely be found in FAA. What worked for me was to go to a lot of meetings, and start really thinking hard (and praying hard) about the first Step, and how I was going to be able to surrender. Fortunately, I was pretty beat up by the disease by the time I got here, so I was able to go through the process of working that Step and really coming to understand how powerless I really AM over sugar, flour & wheat! Oh.... and yes, my life was sure pretty unmanageable too :sour:

Here's the affirmation from the Food for the Soul book for page 59:

For today, I accept the fact that I have a biochemical disease.

Keep coming back, Susan. Getting here wasn't an accident. You're in the right place, so keep coming and keep sharing. You can do this, and we will support you.

Blessings,
TYG today1

[nevertoolate]

IT'S HARD TO GET WILLING AGAIN, DON'T TAKE That FIRST BITE, IT'S NOT WORTH IT. SUGAR AND FLOUR COMBINATION ARE HARD TO GIVE UP....AND THEY SOLVE NO PROBLEMS AT ALL..... :/
Marilyn in Ohio

[tropical3]

Hey Marilyn..Problems more of them when we pickup. It only adds a huge garbage of food and sick thinking about ouselves when we pickup. Right on. I am working on gratitude for what I do have and trying to socialize more. Little by slowly, my thinking starts to change. Someone wrote about not counting days and I have embraced that. Today, now I am abstinent and by the grace of God and faa I will be tomorrow.

[nevertoolate]

Hey Marilyn..Problems more of them when we pickup. It only adds a huge garbage of food and sick thinking about ouselves when we pickup. Right on. I am working on gratitude for what I do have and trying to socialize more. Little by slowly, my thinking starts to change. Someone wrote about not counting days and I have embraced that. Today, now I am abstinent and by the grace of God and faa I will be tomorrow.

you are right, Tropical, it does add sick thinking bec all of a sudden my attitude sucks and that's not me.....I had forgotten also how much PAIN sugar causes to the joints and muscles, especially if you are older....I feel like crap now and a week or two ago I felt great, so I'm praying to get abstinent again....have to get the taste of sugar out of my head now...it is easier to stay abstinent than to get abstinent.
marilyn in Ohio

[lbressem]

Sugar, flour and wheat do us no favors. Our disease is tricky and sneaks up on us. Thank God we have tools to use, and most importantly people to connect to when we're in distress. I ask HP, on a daily basis, for the willingness to follow our plan of sound nutrition. I know if I follow it, I"ll not be struck by cravings for food that's not good for me. It's a simple plan, not an easy one. Keep coming back...it works!! Linda

[nevertoolate]

YOU ARE RIGHT, IT WORKS IF WE WORK IT.
Marilyn

[nevertoolate]

STOP WHEN FULL. I think the body actually does say, that's enough.
marilyn:redface:

[kathyb]

one bite of s/f/w is too many and a thousand is not enough.

[chuck11]

Remember how you felt before, and how much better you feel off of sugar, flour and wheat.