Jill's Journey

[wantingintegrity]

Hi There, all, I just want to thank you all for being here, I wanted a place to document my journey with FAA, so im hoping ot keep this thread going!. I am on day #3, got a sponsor, a food plan, attended an online meeting and many phone meetings, I wish I could say I stayed awake for all the phone meetings, but being newly abstinent has made me so very tired and headachy... I feel awful that I cant stay awake long enough to the end to get phone number but im not going ot give up! I was so excited to get up today and do my tai chi, I havent done that dvd in so long, I cant remember how long! I feel good this am, but still have a headache, one day at a time, right?

Thank you all for being here xoxoxox

[wantingintegrity]

im also going to work on finding new ways to fulfill this prayer, with Gods help!



~Praying to find comfort, solace, love and strength here and from my higher power, and NOT from food!~



Comfort: my kitties, hugs from others, a friends phone call, curling up on the couch to watch a movie, curling up in bed, reading, the library, a boostore, warm bath

solace: alone time, quiet time with God, watching the sun rise in the morning, being out in the woods, doing things by myself (what does solace really mean? ill have to look it up!)

love: I want to work on GIVING love and not just waiting around to receive it! Also, I need to be able to receive it, I have a hard time when someone loves me, a part of me wants to push them away (better to be in control of the ending of the relationship, how insane)

strength: FAA, God, abstinence, doing what I say im going to do (integrity)

[wantingintegrity]

ugh, ive been feeling awful, so very tired, and feel like i have the flu! Is this detox???

My sponsor says to drink more water so im really going to try, I feel terrible that my fatigue keeps me from making it to the end of the meetings (phone and web meetings). This too shall pass, right?

I hope for the day I can get up early and be part of the 5:45 am meeting.

Looking forward to the Super Bowl Meeting this sunday! :)

Gosh, I would never know I needed to DETOX flour sugar and wheat!!

have a blessed day, everyone xoxoxox

[cindyskylar]

Hi Jill,

Welcome and congratulations on four of back to back abstinence! Congratulations, too, on getting a sponsor and attending meetings. It sounds like you're doing all the right things.*

Good luck and remember: dont pick up no matter what.*

xo
Cindy from New York*

[wantingintegrity]

oh thank you, Cindy, I know how tight the edge is with this disease as I had a 6 month break in another 12 step program.

I ate out tonight and I eat so darned fast, and then im squirming when everyone else is eating, any tips on slowing down? Has this happened to anyone?

[wantingintegrity]

comfort: my sponsor (she said to slow down eating by chewing each bite 10-15 times and count to myself, I cant wait to try this!!)

solace: (I said I wanted to look this up, so here it is!)sol·ace   /ˈsɒlhttp://sp.dictionary.com/dictstatic/dictionary/graphics/luna/thinsp.pngɪs/ http://sp.dictionary.com/dictstatic/g/d/dictionary_questionbutton_default.gif (http://www.foodaddictsanonymous.org/help/luna/IPA_pron_key.html) Show Spelled [sol-is] http://sp.dictionary.com/dictstatic/g/d/dictionary_questionbutton_default.gif (http://www.foodaddictsanonymous.org/help/luna/Spell_pron_key.html) Show IPA noun, verb, -aced, -ac·ing.
noun Also called sol·ace·ment. 1. comfort in sorrow, misfortune, or trouble; alleviation of distress or discomfort.

2. something that gives comfort, consolation, or relief: The minister's visit was the dying man's only solace.


verb (used with object) 3. to comfort, console, or cheer (a person, oneself, the heart, etc.).

4. to alleviate or relieve (sorrow, distress, etc.).




love: I just love this little four year old in my care., her birthday was today and I spent almost the whole day with her..I love her!!!

strength: I find strength in my higher power ONLY when I remember (which, honestly isnt often enough!), I find strength from this group.

[Sheila]

Hi Jill!

Welcome to the forum! YES! I have gobbled my food my whole life. I still eat fast at times, but I really try to SLOW DOWN! When w/ others, I make a conscious effort to set my fork down between each bite so I am not the FIRST one done by a mile.

I will enjoy reading your journey!


Sheila

[wantingintegrity]

im feeling better! the clouds are lifting, headache and achiness are better, belly is full of a nutritious breakfast, I have made it to a FULL Meeting and got phone numbers TWICE, making friends with my fellows! THANK YOU GOD!!!

I was offered fresh out of the oven cookies yesterday and I said, oh those look yummy!

Her: "Ill make you a plate"

Me: "oh, I dont eat sugar or flour anymore!"

Her: "oh, I guess you dont want any, then?"

Me: "Oh! I want them! but if I cant eat them as one bite will set up an uncontrollable craving!! I'm so sorry!!!"

peace enveloped me!!!! THANK YOU FELLOWSHIP!!!! :chuncky:

oh, and yesterday, while i was cooking dinner (which I actually text my daughter to say, "we are eating at 5") who does that? not me!! hahaha

anyways, she said, "Mom! you look good!" Im like really??? its day 5!

She was mad for a minute "you didnt tell me you were doing that!"

I told her how i afraid I wouldnt stick with it and I didnt want her to be ashamed of me....

she gave me a huge hug and said she is so happpy for me....

day 6 and im already feeling the promises of the program!

[Sheila]

Awesome JILL! Whoohoo!! Today is day 4 for me...I am a tiny bit scared about the superbowl party I am hosting....but I know it is just another day and food will NOT make things any better for me, only worse!

good for you 2 meetings already! I did one this morning.

I only have 2 kids today in my daycare, how many do you watch?

I replied on my post to you too!

Have an abstinent day!

Today is day 4 for me!

Sheila

[wantingintegrity]

daycare pals, yay! my daycare kids are probably happy im in FAA as their daycare snacks are safe now! haha I usually have one, two or three kids... my own are 19 and 21.

great day today, I went to am meeting, had a fellowship call, worked, lunch with a friend (ABSTINENT!!!), got a birthday party gift, now off to the birthday party (gonna eat first as they are having pizza) .

[wantingintegrity]

okay, if I make it to tomorrow I am doing better than when I restarted around christmastime and had a relapse on day #8.....

Im feeling alright, meals going well...

I hope everyone is doing well xoxoxo

Thanks to everyone who gives service to that 5:45 am meeting!!!!!

[wantingintegrity]

had dinner with fellows, so nice to eat an abstinent meals with friends, no alcohol, board games, sitting by the fire, thank you, God xoxox

[wantingintegrity]

I just realized why I had a relapse on day #8 on new years eve, I wanted what I wanted!

haha wanting what I want made me obese! I also probably shouldnt have traveled so early in recovery, im going to protect myself better TODAY

Im heading to breakfast with my son, taking my phone and my headphones and going to walk there and listen to the phone marathon! I got up early and participated in the 5:45 meeting, even shared a bit, got new numbers and shared mine, im going ot walk to the buddhist center, too, taking you all with me that are in the phone meeting. my love and gratitude to you all!

(can you believe there is no snow in upstate new york in February!!??)

[Rosemary]

I am also new to the program what took me so long to find out about it . I was on a program of families of Alcholoc's divorced him many years ago he is stiil at it I knew I had a problem with food and would say I am addicted to sugar and flour I knew this did I beleive it I guess not well now I am hear and never felt happier what a wonderful gift this is one day at a time I feel free for the first time in my life free from diets , scales, books , magazines, pills , diet bars this diet this diet that diet drink this in stead of a meal and the money spent on weight watchers never again it is my againd I dont want on a daily basis I can do this I know THIS IS A WAY OF LIFE Be Blessed :triumphant:

[Sheila]

Way to go Jill! You are doing great!

Welcome Rosemary to the forum!

Sheila

[wantingintegrity]

hi Rosemary, thanks for saying HI! I love all your reasons for wanting to remain abstinent!! love that!!! look forward to getting to know you! :)

hi Sheila, thank you!!

[wantingintegrity]

I got my literature, hooray!!! Im so excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Got my food plan filled in....feeling satisfied. Had my first guests over last night for an ABSTINENT dinner, they loved it! Chicken, salad, broccoli and rice, mmmmmmmmm My cousin asked alot of questions and was so impressed with my "will-power" im like, "oh no, this isnt MY WILL! MY WILL Is to eat ice cream and chips and cereal with milk and bread! This is my higher powers will!" wooooooooooohoooooooooooooooo!!

I still dont feel well, but I think its actually a cold, I havent been drinking fluids like i should and I am around alot of sick kids in my daycare... but I LOVE my job!!!

before FAA, I wouldve had an all day snack time, now im making them wait...its interested that kids want to eat all the time, too....its just "something to do" like an activity, im the same way...eating is defintiley an actvity when im not in program, now i have to do other things to keep me busy (like sleep these days) I am hoping I can get my rest and stp being tired so I can catch up on appointments and house cleaning, etc....

gotta get back to my little ones.

Blessings to you all!! xoxoxox

[wantingintegrity]

ugh, clothes still feel tight...not feeling well, have a sore throat... Im sick all the time, hoping this meal plan can boost my immune system!

[lbressem]

HI Jill - I know the feeling crummy days are hard, but keep up the good work! You're right, drinking more water, taking it as easy as you can and keeping connected to the program will really help you get through the initial challenges. Be well. Linda

[wantingintegrity]

Thank you, Linda, I keep forgetting the water! Its also hard to rest when you run a daycare, but im doing it! THANK YOU!!!

Didnt take care of myself at lunch time, rushing to eat before story time, little ones broke a glass, hectic and choatic, need to plan for a saner lunch, but it was so nice out, I didnt wanna come inside! (im a big baby!!!)

[Sheila]

Hey Jill! How are you doing today? I woke up with a cold myself.... oh well. Today is day 11 for me and I feel blessed! Hope you can relax some this weekend!

Blessings, Sheila

[wantingintegrity]

Im doing it, im also VERY AWARE of how overweight I am! (does s/f/w make us blind!!!???)

[alicemdavid]

WOW YEAH!!! Congratulations to you both Jill 14 days & Sheila 11 days this is so cool!!! So glad you are both here with us journeying on the road to abstinent recovery!! I couldn't wait to get 14 days so I could lead a meeting by doing service it helps me stay abstinent and gives me the opportunity to carry the message...there are many opportunities available to do service below is a link to the phone meeting web page you will find there meeting schedule and also a link to the suggested phone meeting format.

http://www.foodaddictsanonymous.org/phone-meetings

A PHONE MEETING COORDINATOR is needed for the following times: Sunday at 5:45 am and 8am, Tuesday at 5:45 am, and Wednesday at 5:45 am and 8pm. All meetings are EST and the abstinence requirements for a coordinator is 30 days and a leader is 2 weeks. For Group Coordinator changes contact brightsidefinancial@mail.com (brightsidefinancial@mail.com).


Service one of the wonderful tools of recovery!!

We are encouraged to do whatever we can to be of service to FAA. The first service we can do is to get abstinent and STAY ABSTINENT. Other forms of service include going to meetings and helping to set up and/or break down the meeting area, putting out literature, and talking to newcomers to help them feel welcome. We strengthen our commitment to attending meetings regularly by offering to lead or chair a meeting or serving as the group secretary or treasurer. Volunteering to help with activities related to Intergroup or FAA World Services organizations gives us a sense of purpose and a feeling of belonging.

[wantingintegrity]

Day #15

Got through a stressful night, couldn't find anything to wear to a party, im sooooo big, food must have blinded me! blah, maybe it is time to get the focus off of me and get involved in service!

what is the difference between a leader and a coordinator?

[alicemdavid]

Day #15

Got through a stressful night, couldn't find anything to wear to a party, im sooooo big, food must have blinded me! blah, maybe it is time to get the focus off of me and get involved in service!

what is the difference between a leader and a coordinator?

Wonderful glad you made it through!! Don't beat yourself up be gentle with yourself the disease has beaten us up for long enough!! Service is a wonderful tool and it sure helps us stay abstinent and carries the wonderful message that there is a solution here in Food Addicts Anonymous!!

The coordinator is the person who is responsible for a meeting to find a leader to carry the message, most coordinators lead their own meetings or give one of their sponsee's an assignment to lead the meeting or they announce at the meeting they are in need of a leader for the month they ask if some one would like to do service and be the leader for the month or the next meeting. All you need is 30 days of abstinence to be a coordinator just contact Patty @ brightsidefinancial@mail.com or call the wso @561-967-3871

The leader is the person who follows the suggested meeting format and encourages other loving food addicts to share their e/s/h. They also moderate the meetings they have access to the controls to mute the line if there is back ground noise or if the line becomes to quite they initiate a new reading or perhaps notify any one coming in late what is going on in the meeting or throw out a question or a topic for any one participating in the meeting to share their e/s/h. We only need two weeks of abstinence to lead a meeting!!!

Just need two weeks of FAA abstinence to lead a meeting so if you have the format and there is no leader by all means feel free to do service and lead!!! There is also a list of phone meetings on the announcement page that need leaders so give it a try. You can find the format by going to the link of phone meetings... I love to do service it helps keep me abstinent...we have a marathon coming up in March..... For questions or to do service and lead a meeting during a marathon, please contact Arlene in Florida at: arleneh8745@yahoo.com --I hope this answers your question, feel free to ask any questions at all during the last 5 minuets of a phone time that time is reserved for questions and telephone number exchange, or just send me a message I will be glad to help you! glad you are here Jill!!! 15 days whoopee!

[wantingintegrity]

Thank you so much for explaining everything to me! Im so scared of making and not keeping committment (my person MO) one day at a time, right?

Day #16!!

[wantingintegrity]

okay, the good news: day 18

the bad news: when I feel good, I overcommit myself!!

lesson: easy does it!

I run a small daycare in my house, I have lymphoma and a heart condition, I just started getting my menstrual back!!! (yay! I lost it when I quickly lost 80 pounds in another program...) Guess my body needed some more food!

I took Sheilas suggestions and signed up to lead this am's meeting, but I COULD NOT GET UP. Apparantly I should try getting used to getting up early before committing to leading a meeting!

I am willing, though!


Guess I had beter take a look at where my energy is going...


comfort: my bed, warm food, doing service for others,

solace: my bed, my yummy abstinent meals

love: my cats, my daughter, my daycare kids, my computer!! (ooooooh here is something to look at!)

strength: ummmmmm....


okay, where is God, prayer and meditation in all this?

[wantingintegrity]

Three weeks, amazing! Im so hyper focused on my defects, my hyperactivity, everything! My doctor prescribed medication for ADD, im really hoping it helps me focus, im all over the place!!

I hope you are all well xoxoxox

[wantingintegrity]

Im just LOVING the phone meetings, adderall is helping so far, im staying focused, yay!!! love and abstinence to you all! :chuncky:

[alicemdavid]

Yippie!!!! Jill

Day #22 so cool.... I thank you for sharing your recovery with us!! One day @ a time!!!

[wantingintegrity]

Thank you so very much!! ((((((hugs)))))))

[Boboelink]

Wow, how did you find a sponsor so quickly? I still do not have one after many years of off and on and trying--guess that's the problem! Anyway, you've been doing really well. How are things going? Patty

[wantingintegrity]

Hi! I was in a chat room meeting and I just asked someone to sponsor me, and she said YES! She has been heaven!

Im sick right now and im so used to medicating myself with food...thank GOD for the food plan! Thank God for abstinence!

Ugh, im watching Dr. Oz and he makes me mad, he has publicly stated that he does not believe in food addiction, he is sitting there recommending all these different supplements to all these overweight women, I wish it was that easy, Dr Oz!

happy abstinence, everyone, im going to read some more posts then going back to rest...

xoxox Jill

[wantingintegrity]

lead my first am meeting this am! It went okay, I read the Food For the Soul reading of the day, and made the topic SPONSORHIP, great topic and great shares! (I thought i was going ot have time to type but I see my first little one is here (10 minutes early!! wahhhhh) I should charge early arrival fee, maybe?? These folks live five minutes away, for them to arrive 10 mnutes early means they left their home 15 minutes early!(Jill, stop taking other peoples inventories!!!)

gotta go, have a blessed day, everyone! xoxoxo

Jill

[alicemdavid]

lead my first am meeting this am! It went okay, I read the Food For the Soul reading of the day, and made the topic SPONSORHIP, great topic and great shares! (I thought i was going ot have time to type but I see my first little one is here (10 minutes early!! wahhhhh) I should charge early arrival fee, maybe?? These folks live five minutes away, for them to arrive 10 mnutes early means they left their home 15 minutes early!(Jill, stop taking other peoples inventories!!!)

gotta go, have a blessed day, everyone! xoxoxo

Jill

Hello Jill

Thank you for sharing your recovery with us!! SPONSORSHIP!! is a wonderful topic I thank you for your service leading a meeting and carrying the message!!

[wantingintegrity]

26 days without sugar, flour or wheat (that I know of anyways!!)

I know what to buy when I go grocery shopping makes it so much easier!!!!

comfort, love, solace, strength check-in....

comfort-having healthy food choices in my home
love-feeling the love of all around me
strength-must be God who gives me strength!
solace-my home, my fellows

10th step- slow down eating, Jill!!!!! ENJOY YOUR FOOD!!!!!!

[alicemdavid]

"10th step- slow down eating, Jill!!!!! ENJOY YOUR FOOD!!!!!!"

yeah!! day #26!! woopie!

thank you for sharing your tenth step...mindfull spiritual eating!!

[wantingintegrity]

Hi Alice, I love and NEED your support and encouragement, I hate this lonely disease, your service here is much appreciated!!!

(((((((hugs))))))))

I cant even remember eating breakfast this am, I ate it so fast!! No wonder I hit over 200 pounds, I eat without thinking!!!

wahhhhhhh.......

[wantingintegrity]

no sugar, flour, processed foods, alcohol in 28 days :) 4 weeks, when I started it felt like it was going to take forever to string a group of days together. Im far from perfect but taking things one day at a time!

Im temporarily sponsoring someone (I know her real sponsor needs 6 months, but she was suffering so...) God, please help me.

I have been sick for over a week. I have Lymphoma and my immune system is weakened... taking life one day at a time is all I can do...

thanks for being here everyone xoxox

[alicemdavid]

day #28Happy Day #28 Jill!!!


Its amazing how fast the days add up to months and then years!! Just one blessed day at a time. **congratulations**

I was told that if we have just one more day than a new comer we have something to give away...What a wonderful feeling to be a link in the chain connected to your sponsor and to a sponsee they both help us on our road to recovery We need each other!!

In closing my friend hope you are feeling better, my abstinence make all my other problems better...I was sure in terrible misery but not today...Thank you Jill thank you again for sharing your journey with us all!! Glad you are here and thank you for your service!

[wantingintegrity]

Days are stringing together and i have so much energy!! Woohoooo its amazing how I barely have time to get online and post about my journey!!

[alicemdavid]

Hello Jill

Thank you for sharing your recovery with us!!

[wantingintegrity]

Gosh, I wouldnt know what days I was on if it werent for this forum to help me keep track!

I failed to mention I lost 7 pounds in the first month, my sponsor stated that I should be more concerned about being the right size with my higher power :)

[Tortus]

Hi Jill

Thanks for your email addy, but especially for this record of your journey.

So encouraging.

I know where you are coming from regarding your comment at the end of your 2/15 post! I find it hard to remember to rely on God to help me. I know he is there wanting to help. But I forget to ask, get caught up with thinking I have to deal with things myself.

Love and thanks,

Victoria

[wantingintegrity]

Hi Gang! Its day one again!!

why?

ive been terribly sick, cant talk, lost my voice, a friend offered me tea with honey and I accepted.

wanted to be honest with my fellows.

Have a peaceful day

ps. my sponsor said, "at least you didnt eat a dozen donuts!" hahaha

love to you all

[Tortus]

Dear Jill

Oh poor you with the sore throat and illness. I do sympathize. My throat is my weak point and I will now plan what I can drink next time it hits.... so it's an ill wind that blows nobody any good!

Lots of love

Victoria xx

[wantingintegrity]

Thank you my dear friend!!! xoxoxox

Love, Jill

[alicemdavid]

Hello Jill

So glad you are here and haven't decided that you are not a food addict and are still here with us all, I admire your honesty by starting your day count over!! Its amazing how them days will add back up! Keep coming back! Again I am glad your are here!!