my story and need

[ali alice]

Hello, my name is Alice, I am 5'2" and weight 300 pounds. I love the Lord, He is my savior and my friend, I love my life. I have many friends and a Sabbath church in the mountains as well as a local Sunday church where I am active through out the week. I have a good life, I am single and have been most of my life (I was married for 5 years in the 60's), I have no children but love animals and have a cat named Priscilla.
I have not been successful in getting debilitating excess weight off, my weight has averaged 250 for many, many years and I am at my top weight currently. I am affected with Bi-polar disorder, diagnosed since 1976 but long controlled, I was able to function as a professional for many years but toxicity to a medication brought kidney disease and other limitations. I have been retired since 1992 (I am 64 years old) You can learn more about me if you should care to check my profile on facebook (Ali Alice Marie Morse).
The medications do factor into my condition but it would not stop me from getting down to a reasonable weight I'm sure, I weigh double what would be healthy for someone my base size.
I do so what to be able to get around freely, right now I need a seated walker and the only time I come alive physically is in the water, I spend much time dancing in the water when I can but summer is the only time it is warm enough.
I have completed working the 12 step program through Celebrate Recovery but old habits persist and I fear for my life. When I worked the steps it was with someone who had not suffered my addition, I am in a small town and could not find a sponsor who had overcome compulsive eating. I am praying to find someone who has been successful in overcoming and is recovered from excessive morbid obesity, I need to shed at least 150 pounds and resolve any issues I am currently unaware of that are blocking my journey to health and a normal weight.
Please connect with me if you think you would be willing to help me find a way to live in health, thanks, ali alice

[TYGtoday]

Welcome to Food Addicts Anonymous, Alice! It's very possible that you have come to the right place. I can sense the deparation you're feeling right now and want you to know that you are in good company when it comes to that~ many, if not most, of us came to FAA broken and ready to do whatever it takes to completely surrender so that we could start doing the things that will get us well.

I'd recommend you come to some meetings and buy the literature to help during times when meetings are not being held. Look on the website to see if there are face to face (in person) meetings close to you. In addition, there are phone and online meetings, as well as a Loop (which serves as a resource for recovery that's available 24/7).

Those of us who are food addicts have a biochemical disease. That is, when we put the addictive substances (for us) of sugar/flour/wheat in any form into our bodies, we have an addictive response and want to keep eating...even when we're not hungry! Our disease takes many forms, from bingeing, to starving ourselves, to bingeing and purging. I can say that there are many in FAA with stories similar to your own and you are not alone, and you never have to be alone again. I'd suggest trying six meetings before deciding that you don't need FAA's help, or that you aren't a food addict. Give yourself the gift of the six meetings, Alice. It could be just what you need to get started on the road to recovery and a happy, useful and serene life.

I hope to see you around!!

TYGtoday

[collinsco]

Alice - thank you so much for sharing your story. i commend you on your honesty. for years i lied to others and myself about my food addiction. today, honesty is one way i kick this disease in the 'you know what'. telling the truth about my food addiction and my behaviors takes away so much of its power.

today i still have days i struggle to stick with my food plan. i struggle with my feelings/reactions to life. i have lived my life being a 'victim' - so i notice when life starts not going my way, i immediatly want to be that scared little girl and go into victim mode. im learning i am not a victim anymore and today i have choices.

please keep posting and sharing and being honest. for me it helps recovery. thanks again...

[joyce]

Hello Alice, I was touched by your story on so many levels. I too am a newcomer and have never been to a meeting. I am looking forward to the next on-line meeting this week. I heard some hopelessness in your story but I know you have not given up on your self because you posted on this site. Remember everyday is a new day and every breath is a new moment. (this is my motto for now). Good luck to you and maybe I will see you in the on line meeting.