I'm in trouble...and ready to change.

[BubblyAlto]

Hi everyone,
I have some questions. I am a full-time college student in Tacoma, WA and not able to attend meetings. Is it possible to do the program without them? I would of course be able to attend over summer vacations which, thankfully, are coming up pretty soon...but after that I would have to rely on online support. Is this realistic?

My mom has been in in FAA for some time now and has had a really good experience with it. I went to one of the meetings with her about a year ago, and it was a huge wakeup call. I've known about my food problems since I was a little kid, but that meeting changed me. I was so overwhelmed, I could hardly hold back my tears as people came up to greet my mom and me. I realized that I needed help, that I had been behaving not unlike a drug addict; obsessing over how to get more food, feeling anxious if I wasn't eating something, sneaking around with my food...all of it.

I want nothing more than to be healthy. I am passionate about health and good, simple, healthy food, and I've never been able to follow my own advice for more than a few weeks at a time. As much as it pains me to admit it, I know I have a serious problem...and I really need help. As I've mentioned, I can't attend meetings, and since that's such an important part of the program, I'm a bit nervous. Can I still follow the program (get a sponsor, etc) without the meetings? Any help will be much appreciated!

[beingatrain]

I'm in Washington as well and signed up today for this program. I plan on using the chat room and communication in lieu of actual meetings...besides being my only option, it is also miles better than nothing at all. :]

[Diane]

Hi Bubbly Alto:

Thank you for posting. My name is Diane and I am a very grateful food addict in FAA recovery for over 5 years. I came to FAA very broken in every possible way. Physically I was scared to death for my life weighing in at close to 400 lbs., emotionally I was depleted being homebound for the better part of 4 years, and did not know anything about spirituality - the personal closeness/relationship with the God of my understanding. This FAA recovery program has been a miracle for me. My God delivered me to the rooms of FAA to help me save my life and to begin to live a life without those addictive foods.

I have come to learn the FAA recovery way is a "one day at a time" program - just for today. I lovingly suggest to you "just for today" to consider the following:

1. Read over the FAA website - become very knowledgeable about this 12 step food addiction recovery program;
2. Read over the Guide To Abstinence which includes the FAA food plan (listed on the FAA website - www.foodaddictsanonymous.org.);
4. Attend meetings (face to face, telephone, online, FAALoop - all meetings with other food addicts will help you);
5. Most importantly, KEEP COMING BACK.

Please feel free to e-mail me.

In gratitude for the FAA fellowship,
Diane
Queens4463@aol.com

[jane]

This is a whole new experience for me - talking in a chat line or whatever this is. I am much older than the writer and have had eating problems all my life. Of course, when I was in my teens and 20s there was no such thing as an eating disorder and I didn't know other people did what I did. What I did was eat too much and be too lazy as a teenager. I then left England and went to Canada and then California. Somewhere in there I found I could eat too much and then throw it up. I worked continuously on my eating and begun to eat too little as well until I was 89lbs. (5'3") I continue to purge frequently when I married and stopped somewhere in my pregnancy. During that time, m y cycle stopped. I got pregnant without it! I have always been a secret eater and I have always thought about what I would and would not eat as soon as I woke up. My ex- husband has told me he he wondered why I hid cookies when he come in the room. Now I am 105lbs. and am a serious runner and taker of spin classes. Secretly I admit a large part of my motivation is so I can eat! Occasionally I still purge. All this has been a big secret. I had considered telling my PCP during a physical but decided I was too ashamed.

[here42da]

Thank you Jane for sharing your situation, and while I cannot identify with a lot of what you have shared, I have heard many others who are in our fellowship who have had these behaviors, and life styles. In some of our FAA approved literature which can be ordered off the website, there are stories of individuals dealing with these issues as well as any other thing imaginable. Also learning about the biochemical aspect of this disease is a big help. It helped me to know that I wasn't alone that there are plenty of others who are suffering, and that we do have a solution in refraining from eating sugar, flour or wheat and any of their substitutes. This in itself eliminates the cravings for non-abstinent foods after a period of time. To be around all the goodies at the holidays and yet not have the urge to cram them in my mouth and eat till I am miserable is a wonderful miracle of the program, and a result of being abstinent. I have learned so much from the literature, and from others. I would advise getting on meetings, phone, online or face to face if you have any. that is where we can make that connection with others who are like us, and at the end of the meeting there is time to get or give numbers. Then make outreach calls, and it will be a great help to look for a sponsor who will be able to help you , and to answer questions and to guide you in ways that will help you to become abstinent. If you don't have the literature, please see about getting that. You can order from the website or call the world service office. the number will be on the website as well. I want to encourage you to keep coming back. This program has worked miracles, in many of our lives, and can in yours too. It also helps us to deal with the spiritual, and emotional as well as the physical aspects of our disease. Thanks again for sharing.

[step3]

Dear Jane,

I'm so glad you've found FAA. No matter how the disease manifests for each individual food addict, one thing I know we all have in common when we get here is the shame you've mentioned. I feel it's what kept me in hiding and kept me in my disease for so long, and I'm grateful that by maintaining abstinence from sugar/flour/wheat and working on my recovery, that shame has abated immensely. It started right away, really, when I got abstinent by following the FAA suggested food plan:

http://www.foodaddictsanonymous.org/faa-food-plan

I started feeling better physically quickly and it wasn't long before I was really appreciating the nutritious foods I was feeding myself. I learned that by following the food plan, my internal organs had started healing, and I continue to be grateful for that...among all the other benefits that I've had.

There's also lots of great support here in FAA, Jane. As here42da mentioned, a sponsor is a real God-send and I hear not only what I need to hear to keep me abstinent another day at meetings, but also have fellowship with other food addicts. I never have to be alone again...and neither do you! So please, come along with us for the ride, Jane. You won't be sorry!

Best wishes,
step3

[pinki]

dear jane,

i am so glad that you came to FAA and have posted your story. welcome to FAA. i am a classic example of someone who had eating disorders with binging and purging. i transitioned between bulimia and anorexia for many many times in the last 9 years. i always wanted to lose weight, so i starved myself and then out of tremendous craving, i would binge and abuse laxatives (to get rid of the bloated feeling). i could not go to sleep at night because my stomach was bloated out of binging and the effects of laxatives. i lost and gained weight so many times in the last 8 years that i never had a constant and healthy body weight. i was ashamed of myself and kept blaming myself for my abnormal food habit. my life was miserable and painful. i also had a hectic exercise routine. i over-exercised all the time so that i could eat anything and anytime i feel like. thus, to some extent, i can relate to your experience.

on november, 2010, i came to FAA. i surrendered to the food plan and admitted that i am powerless over sugar, wheat and flour. since then my higher power has blessed me with an amazing sponsor and a wonderful FAA support network. the food plan may apparently appear to be strict but i think it is a wonderful plan. it saved my life. i do not take sleeping pills or laxatives any more. i am down to only 2 medications per day. and i sleep like a child now a days. the food plan has given a structure to my life. i know exactly what to eat, how much to eat, and when to eat. it is a peace of mind for me. in my anorexic/bulimic days i was always haunted by the thoughts of food. i was scared of either over eating or being running out of my stash of food. today my situation is so much better with the food plan.

i am still a newcomer in FAA. but i can truly see the changes in my life (for better) in the last 3 months. i am grateful to my higher power for that, i am grateful to FAA for that. please keep coming back.

my best wishes are there with you.

regards,
pinki

[jane]

This is really neat - people talking to me like this. Where were you all my life? It's never too late. I now have a for real problem. I was about to go running in some woods when I fell and broke my ankle. You readers know what my first concern was - I won't be able to work out and run and I will get fat. I know about the Higher Power and it may have happened because I was tired and pushing myself too much. Also I was so busy with my job and exercise that I barely had time to learn this new computer. As you could imagine I am not complaining about pain or problems getting places, but how will I control my icecream and cookie intake. I would like to write to the names that responded to me but my computer does not seem to want me to go back and write them down.

Thank you very much!

Jane

[oragold]

Hello Jane,

I am sorry to hear that you hurt your ankle. That must be so frustrating!

I also hurt my ankle a few months ago in Tai Kwon Do. While I was very sad to be unable to exercise for a while, I was very happy to have a food program and support program that kept me balanced and happy and made it unnecessary for me to worry about my weight. The FAA program is primarily about keeping physical, emotional and spiritual balance with respect to food and only as a side-effect has a positive effect on weight. It is helpful to focus on the other elements of the program other than weight, especially when something happens like being unable to exercise.

The other suggestion I have if your body misses movement is other forms of exercise such as rowing machine or kettle ball or simply stretching, in case that would be helpful.

I wish you all the best in your ankle healing process.

Sincerely,
oragold

[step3]

Hi Jane,
I'm so sorry to hear about your accident. I understand that you're concerned about sugar intake during this time, but what I've learned is that by becoming abstinent from sugar, flour, and wheat and by working the 12 Steps of Recovery in FAA, I don't have to eat over any situation whatsoever. What a freedom!

FAA has a suggested food plan. When we follow it, we are automatically not ingesting sugar, flour, or wheat (which are addictive in all their forms for food addicts). As recovering food addicts, we're also responsible for checking labels on cans and packages to make sure their are no addictive ingredients in them. A sponsor can help us with these things, and also you can learn about all of this not only from FAA members but also from the FAA literature. I'd recommend getting some literature for yourself. You can find what FAA has available by clicking on this link:

http://www.foodaddictsanonymous.org/catalog

I'd like to suggest also that you come to some FAA meetings. There are over 30 phone meetings each week (5 or 6 each day) starting early in the morning and going late into the night (Eastern Time). The phone number and schedule for the phone meetings is here:

http://www.foodaddictsanonymous.org/phone-meetings

During the last five minutes of the meeting, telephone numbers are exchanged. You can start a phone list for yourself by writing down numbers that FAA members have left. If someone says something you related to or liked but didn't share their number, you can ask for it and if they're still on the line, they'll probably leave their phone number for you. You can also leave your own phone number if you like; many FAA members love to call newcomers, welcome them to FAA, offer encouragement, and answer questions for them.

FAA has some phone meetings that are particularly helpful for newcomers. There's a 6pm (ET) Sunday newcomer's meeting, a 7pm (ET) Sunday Oldtimer's Panel Meeting (where oldtimers answer questions from newcomers on the line), and a 6pm Friday (ET) meeting that's for recipe sharing. There are also some helpful online things, but this will get you started. Once you're back on your feet, you can see if there's a face-to-face FAA meeting in your area that you can attend; those are wonderful.

As for corresponding with people in Online Support, you can click on their user name (it's in blue) on the right hand side of the message. This will take you to their Profile Page and you'll see a way to write a Private Message to them there.

Keep coming back, Jane! :P

Hugs,
step3

P.S. I'm sending warm wishes your way for a complete and speedy recovery from your broken ankle!

P.P.S. I sent you a Welcome Letter on Monday night with some basic information on getting started in FAA. Don't know if you saw that? If not, please go to the User Control Panel (upper left of forum) and click where it says X New Messages (X = number of new Private Messages).