Girlbot's thread, come on in! :-)

[~Girlbot]

Hi there!
Boy, "normal" eating is something I've been struggling with for SO long in my life. Long, (longlonglong) story short,I was anorexic for many years, used laxatives every day and also drank and smoked (cigarettes) heavily, partied like crazy, never got more than 4-5 hours of sleep a night and lived a very high stress lifestyle, due to a mentally ill, drug and alcohol addicted punk rocker boyfriend. Fast-forward eight years: I ditched the loser b-friend, quit smoking, quit drinking except for a glass of wine socially here and there, started exercising and taking better care of myself, eating healthy etc. Then, BOOM! Hashimoto's disease, thyroid fries out and I gain almost 40 pounds inside of two months. (Whoa!) So then I start embarking on all sorts of diets, only to end up binging out of control on all of them because they still allowed s/f/w stuff, (which I didn't know I was addicted to at the time.) At some point I decided to try low carb, which seemed to help keep my weight from exploding further and did make me feel a lot more "normal," (due to the removal of sugar, flour and grains.) On one hand it worked great for me, but on the other hand I was still having these horrible, out of control sugar and flour binges once in awhile, which over the past six months or so had started to become more and more frequent. I always felt like low carb was "almost there" and "not quite right for me" somehow, but I wasn't sure why. Now I know it's because my addictive brain chemical makeup combined with already chronically low serotonin levels couldn't handle the even lower serotonin levels which the low carb way of eating caused. I've said this before, but while I was LCing I had tried many times to add back in a few things like fruit or slow-cooked oats, (I think it was entirely instinctive), but I made the mistake of just eating oats by themselves or fruit by itself, which caused that addictive sugar high reaction. The FAA food plan is designed to let you have those things, but it balances everything out so that no sugar high happens, hence no uncontrollable urges to eat five or six huge bowls of oatmeal or ten apples in a row, (and then of course move on to other sugary, floury things after that.)

Anyway, what I mean to say is that for the past three weeks or so, I've felt more like "normal" food-wise than I've ever felt before in my life, and that is just a HUGE relief for me after practically a lifetime of being "messed up" with it in one way or another. 8-)


P.S. And my weight has stayed about the same, even with the addition of (good) carbs to my diet. HOORAYYYYYYYY! :D (I was worried it would explode, due to Hashi's making me extremely sensitive to weight gain from carbs.) Oh, and I haven't full-on binged even ONCE, which is unbelievably awesome!

[step3]

I'm so glad to hear that things are going well for you, Girlbot. Abstinence is the foundation of recovery from food addiction, that's for sure.

I'm also glad your thread is so popular! That's very exciting. How are you doing with other things in FAA? Did you get a chance to check out the online meetings yet? I think I remember you said you had joined the Loop, right? Have you found your sponsor yet?

Thanks again for sharing, Girlbot. Keep coming! :D

step3

[~Girlbot]

Hi there! Yes, things are going really well for me- I'm still feeling super great on the food plan, I'm almost like a regular person now, (ha ha!) :-D

Yep, I did join the Loop and am still really enjoying reading all the emails every day. I don't have a sponsor (yet, aside from emailing my food plan to my husband each morning. He's really excited I'm doing this, so he's more than happy to help me!)

I keep getting up early on Saturday morning for the meeting, but then I keep getting too shy to follow through with it, ha ha! One of these days I'll get brave and go for it, I swear. :D

P.S. Another added bonus to following the food plan: I now have SO much more energy for my runs and strength training workouts, now that I have some carbs back in my diet. Woo-hoo!

[step3]

That's great, Girlbot. Keep it going!

step3

[Diane]

Hi Girlbot,

Welcome to FAA. My name is Diane and I am a truly grateful food addict who became FAA abstinence November 30, 2005 one blessed day at a time. I am a low bottom food addict Girlbot. I was a very sick lady when I came to FAA in every possible way. Physically I weighed close to 400 lbs., homebound for nearly four years for the most part. When I would go out I needed to walk with a cane and would take horrible panic attacks - so horrible I wanted to just stay in the house. I lacked mobility. Emotionally I was depleted and I did not know anything about spirituality (the personal closeness with the God of my understanding). It is by the Grace of my God and the FAA fellowship that I am able to do normal things today. I have lost over 210 lbs., I walk without a cane, no panic attacks and can go anywhere I need or want to go. The gift of Sprituality and working the 12 steps have provided me with a spiritual foundation I never knew anything about before in my life. I came to FAA when I was 58. I am now 64. There is not an age for recovery from food addiction disease. I just know for me at 64 my physlical wellness is better than it has ever been, and I remain forever grateful.

Here are a few basic suggestions for you:

* Keep coming back;
* Go to meetings (FAA face to face, FAA online chatroom, FAALoop, FAAOnline Support) - use any of the FAA Tools For Recovery which will help you connect with other loving food addicts. This will build your support network;
* Read over the FAA food plan which is listed on the website - it truly is helpful to read it over several times. I have learned in my nearly six years in FAA that I continue to refer to the food plan. It is listed under the Guide To Abstinence;
* Order FAA Literature especially the Newcomer's Packet (there is helpful inofmration including a booklet "Understanding Food Addiction and Why Abstinence Is Necessary" - a nutritionist's perspective;
* Read over the FAA Tools For Recovery which are listed on the FAA website www.foodaddictsanonymous.org;

Keep Coming Back - the program truly works if you work it - it truly works - thank you God.

Feel free to email me.

In gratitude for the FAA fellowship,
Diane
Queens4463@aol.com

[~Girlbot]

Thanks for all the advice, Diane, and way to go with your recovery- sounds like you're doing wonderfully! I'm sorry I didn't reply sooner, but I went on a long beach trip last weekend and then got slammed with work + housework + yard work, etc. I think I'm finally getting caught up again now, whew! Anyway, I did great at the beach and I continue to do really well with everything, (and, holy moly, I'm still losing weight!) Boy, I'm so glad I found this place and this food plan, and I'm also very, very happy I gave up the artificial sweeteners. I credit all of these things for giving me the ability to NOT cave and binge endlessly when I get stuck in a house for days with a bunch of people who think "beach trip" means "pile every available surface in the rental house with candy and sweets and chips and pies and cookies and muffins and gorge, gorge, gorge yourself silly." I didn't even crave sugar- that stuff was practically invisible to me, and if you knew me then you'd know that this is a FREAKIN' MIRACLE! :-D

P.S. The new forum looks GREAT!!!!!!!!!!! Good job to whomever fixed it up! :-)

[~Girlbot]

Well, crap... :-(

Took my first tumble off the abstinent wagon on Friday, booooo! I know why I did it- I was feeling really, MAJORLY stressed out because I had way too much work to do and not enough hours in the day, (my online business had a sale and the mail orders were endlessly flooding in, and I was trying to clean house and do laundry and stuff, too.) Plus it was Friday and I just wanted work to be over and fun time to start. I suddenly needed something sweet SOOOO bad, and I ended up eating one of my husband's Clif bars, then I ate another, then I had a banana, then I found his stash of M&Ms and had a few big handfuls of those, and I finished up with a can of his chicken noodle soup, (both for the noodles and the sweet-tasting broth.)

*siiiiighhhh* Oh well, I jumped right back on the wagon afterward and have been there since, so here's to hopefully being able to stick with it from now on.

[cyndi]

I can relate to the carbophobia. My metabolism is sluggish also, and carbs stick to me like glue. I tried to change the plan by halfing my potatoe & grain, eating more olive oil, & mayo on salads, and it seems it sent me into a binge. Guess I was Too hungry. Just for today, Im going to eat as the faa plan way.

[here42da]

Thanks for sharing, I couldn't help but think about how many times I tried to do this my way, change things, use more, and the list goes on, I undoubtedly would end up back into the food, or bingeing. Just for today I will endeavor to do this food plan as written, one day at a time or even one meal at a time, thanking my Higher Powere for each new day of abstinence and on the road to recovery . "When I fail to plan, I plan to fail"

[step3]

I'm glad you came right back, Girlbot... and that's a good thing because so many food addicts don't get to do that! I agree with the others, that following the FAA suggested food plan as it's written makes a really big difference. I know it does for me, too. It's definitely in my nature to want to be changing things, making substitutions, etc. What's been helpful for me with that tendency is that I plan out my menu at night for the following day and report & commit it to my sponsor. Then I eat what I told another person I would... I'm not keeping what I'm doing or eating a secret anymore. If I have to change something that I reported I was having (for instance, my husband ate it~ that does happen sometimes! ), then I text her and let her know. This accountability was very odd for me, but it sure does keep me on track!

Best, best wishes Girlbot. Don't give up, no matter what. Keep coming, and keep sharing!

Warmly,
step3