I am just about to finish up the school year and exams are just a few days away. I'm so stressed out, i'm finding it harder to stop eating.
i'm not fat, i'm just chubby but i know everyday i'm just digging myself down deeper. A couple months ago i was doing so good! i had just joined the rugby team and we had two hour practices five days a week...but then the weekend came and i gained back all that i lost and then the cycle just continued. I ate two packages of oatmeal and ribs with some veg today. But i don't want to stop! I even asked myself, am i hungry...no, do i want to eat...yes! I haven't so far but theres so much strain. I..need support, i can't do this on my own, all my friends are either super skinny and eat like a fatty, which in turn influences me to, or just eat whatever and are super confident about how they look. I hate myself, i look in the mirror and feel disgusted. I try to paint my face with makeup and drown myself in baggy sweatshirts. Because i know that people talk about chubby people and judge them, i have and still do. When their clothes are waay to tight everyone notices. i'm bored, i eat, sad i eat, happy, i eat...whatever i feel food makes it better! i'm sick and tired and so fed up with my body,i've tried reaching out to family and friendsand they think im joking.."you're not fat" thats all they say! "but i AM chubby" they never reply, i'm spiralling downwards and i wont be able to stop if i don do something now..help?