Lost control, feel very unwell but i'm back :)

[personaltrainer]

Hi Guys,

I managed to remain abstinent for 14 days and I must say I started to feel really well and happy. Then one day I broke my abstinence and that was it (for the last week). Binging again every day in a big way. The headaches are back, the room has been spinning all day as though I am drunk. I have not trained either.

I have had enough of feeling like this. The addiction is so powerful though. I need some strength and I ask my higher power to help me find this strength again like I did when I found the FAA.

I am back again and I want to be free of this terrible affliction. I will check in with you tomorrow and let you know how I get on. I pray my HP helps me to see tomorrow through abstinent.

God bless

personaltrainer

[here42da]

Personaltrainer, Believe me, you are not the only one who has gone back out, in fact we might even be the majority, although I would never want to take away from those who have remained faithful in abstinence from day one. But this is all a learning process, and I am thankful I have learned from my own errors, as well as others. It makes me a better listener now, more patient and loving too. I am glad that you are sharing your experiences on this FAA journey. What a blessing to know that we can begin again at any moment, and don't even have to wait for the next day. However I do know that a very wise sponsor once said that we don't have the promise of another recovery. This has made an impression on me, because as I have heard others say - "It is easier to stay abstinent then to get abstinent."