Lost control, feel very unwell but i'm back :)
I managed to remain abstinent for 14 days and I must say I started to feel really well and happy. Then one day I broke my abstinence and that was it (for the last week). Binging again every day in a big way. The headaches are back, the room has been spinning all day as though I am drunk. I have not trained either.
I have had enough of feeling like this. The addiction is so powerful though. I need some strength and I ask my higher power to help me find this strength again like I did when I found the FAA.
I am back again and I want to be free of this terrible affliction. I will check in with you tomorrow and let you know how I get on. I pray my HP helps me to see tomorrow through abstinent.
Personaltrainer, Believe me, you are not the only one who has gone back out, in fact we might even be the majority, although I would never want to take away from those who have remained faithful in abstinence from day one. But this is all a learning process, and I am thankful I have learned from my own errors, as well as others. It makes me a better listener now, more patient and loving too. I am glad that you are sharing your experiences on this FAA journey. What a blessing to know that we can begin again at any moment, and don't even have to wait for the next day. However I do know that a very wise sponsor once said that we don't have the promise of another recovery. This has made an impression on me, because as I have heard others say - "It is easier to stay abstinent then to get abstinent."
Last edited by here42da; 08-02-2011 at 06:44 PM.
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