Hello Sheila,
I learned a few very smart things from some of the other members since joining the program. The one that comes to mind is that major anniversaries can bring up obsessive food thoughts because of the emotions involved. Some people think of it as their disease fighting back. I don't really like to conceptualize my condition in that way, but I have experienced the problem. For me, it hit hard right before my sixth month anniversary and again before my 1 year. Before the sixth month anniversary, I started feeling what felt like food cravings to me. I couldn't stop thinking about food, just like in the old days. I felt like if that kept going on like that, I would crack. It went on for two days and it seemed like forever.
Somehow, I held on, with some phone calls and some deep breathing and some patience. Knowing that it could be anniversary related was reassuring. It gave me hope that the feelings would pass. THEY DID!
I had a lesser experience before my 1st anniversary but I was prepared this time and believed a lot more that it would be temporary, and IT WAS.
Why I'm telling you this is that 30 days is a big deal. And it is possible that something was fighting against you believing that you had found a solution. The key is to believe in the solution and to wait it out. Now that this has happened, you are knowledgeable about the phenonmena. Have you heard the saying "forewarned is forearmed"? It means that if you were to experience this next time, you would be able to wait it out knowing it is related to hitting a milestone. It is actually something to celebrate because you can get through it if you know about it.
The other thing that can be a trigger is the weight loss. Before my first month I was afraid that I didn't lose any weight. I talked to my sponsor about it and she said that if the scale was going to knock me out of my abstinence I should NOT weigh myself. I ended up weighing myself being very careful to be ready to call on support if needed. It all turned out ok and I've been ok with the scale ever since because I have learned to value my abstinence so much that the number on the scale is simply one of several monitoring tools I use and it is just not the biggest deal to me any more. Is it possible that weighing knocked you off balance? In that case, just don't weigh for a long time. It will not hurt not to know. It is much more important to focus on abstinence and clear mindedness and clean heartedness. The weight will come off naturally.
I hope that some of this helps. This is all about learning and growing and believe me, you have tons of understanding and support in these rooms and we believe in you!
Ora food addict CO
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Originally Posted by Sheila
