Almost Abstinent

[adega]

Why oh Why Do I do this?? This is my fourth week in program. I love it and I know I need it. I WANT it!
So why is it that I cheat on my abstinence periodically, but only a little. Like 1 Tb. peanut butter, 2 Tb. ice cream, 1 piece of cheese etc. It's almost like I hear a whispering voice in my head saying, "go ahead and have it. It's only a little bit." Pressure builds in my chest until I finally give in to the voice and eat. Immediately, the pressure is relieved but then 10 minutes after I've eaten it I feel awful........very upset with myself and very discouraged. Please..........someone, help me.
Adega

[Sheila]

Can you use one of the tools in your toolbox before you take the bite? Read some lit, make an outreach call to someone in the program? Hang in there and keep on doing what you are doing!!

[nevertoolate]

HEY ADEGA, no one gets abstinent overnight. be kind to yourself, it must be hard having those things in your house......maybe you're not getting enough to eat at meals, maybe you're testing yourself, who knows, but you are reaching out, that's the important thing...sounds like you are making a lot of progress.....keep posting, go to some online meetings, maybe the FAA loop? any way to gbet that stuff out of your house? : )
Marilyn in Ohio, a newbie, only 24 days and tempted sometimes also....working on it

[adega]

Unfortunately, the food is here for my husband who is not a food addict. In fairness to him, I can't expect him to eat the way I do when he has no issues with food. But what seems so bizarre to me is why I am eating only a little. If I'm going to break my abstinence, why isn't it with a BIG AMOUNT of something? Why only 2 Tb. of something, or 1 piece of cheese? That's what I don't get. I don't think I'm hungry. It's something else.
Adega

[nevertoolate]

Maybe it's bec you are stopping yourself at one bite.....sounds like you are well on your way to being abstinent....it's hard to surrender....hard to say, no. I just can't eat that stuff bec I know what it does to me but again, it's a process......keep on sharing, FAA is here for you......thank God it's not a big amount of something...... : )
Marilyn

[nevertoolate]

I GET IT ABOUT ALMOST ABSTINENT......I too cheat in little ways...and eat too much abstinent food sometimes, especially when stressed..but I am human after all......if we are able to stop the big binges, that is some progress....thanks to HP for some progress.....hopeful in Ohio.
Marilyn in Ohio

[nevertoolate]

HEY ADEGA, ARE YOU OUT THERE? I was wondering how you are doing....it's not easy, I know that....if there is anything we here can do to help you, please come back....
Marilyn in Ohio
There is a newcomers meeting at 9 p.m. tonight in the CHAT ROOM, go to main FAA page, click on Newcomer, see near top where it says how to find meetings and click. bingo!

[Athiria]

Try to call somebody before you eat sugar! I should try this myselfXD
But so many people are talking about it that is has to work, right?

[nevertoolate]

yes, it works
Marilyn
strength in numbers

[shines_so_bright]

Try to call somebody before you eat sugar! I should try this myselfXD
But so many people are talking about it that is has to work, right?

Yes, it definitely does work. For me, I have to be willing to do the work involved (and there is some work to be done!) What helped a lot in the beginning was to take Step One of FAA:

We admitted we were powerless over our food addiction; that our lives had become unmanageable.

This was a process that I went through. I didn't completely surrender on my first day; in my case, it took a couple of months to let go of all the substances. What helped is that I kept very close to the program, and shared how I was doing with FAA members that I'd call in between meetings. I will be forever grateful to those people that were there for me in the early days. Some of them are still in my life, I'm very happy to say.

The most important thing is to get to meetings and onto the food plan. I'd recommend, also, starting to look for a sponsor as soon as possible. I couldn't have achieved and maintained my abstinence without the help of my sponsor. Abstinence and recovery, I found, isn't something I can do on my own (even though I'm a type to want to do just that!)

You can do this, Athiria... if I can, so can you! Keep coming back~ this works when we work it!