i believe we have more responsibility than we admit with food addiction

[nevertoolate]

I still believe we have a lot of responsibility where food addiction is concerned and can not blame it all on "disease"....I think FAA is a super program and agree with most of what it says but I think it's our fault when we go to a fast food place and stuff ourselves...sorry, I just think it is....I can't claim to be a victim in this....I feel guilty, I am guilty especially since sometimes I'm bulimic....and was taught that's a sin....I've gone back to the darn junk food again yesterday adn today and feel like crap already..it's amazing how much pain sugar causes to the joints especially if you are older or have fibromyalgia.....it's a big contributor and folks have to realize that....it's hard to complain if you keep eating sugar, like I am.....I pray I get willing again to go back on the food plan, will not give up and will still go to meets, online and phone and I will not lie to people and pretend I'm doing great, I'm not...right now I'm face first in the food again and it's not really helping, I know that....it's so hard to let it go again before you "eat everything you want to eat"....stupid, huh?????
MARILYN thanks for all the wonderful encouragement you've given me, I appreciate it so much.

[JustForToday]

I truly do not see myself as a victim of food addiction. FAA believes that food addiction is a bio-chemical reaction in the brain and I truly have no say over this reaction once I eat the sugar, flour and wheat; therefore, I am powerless over this disease...I cannot control it nor control my eating once I indulge in s/f/w. Once I became abstinent, my sponsor had me list out my triggers - not only those foods that I found I hard to resist but also the emotional triggers like anger and resentment and those circumstances in my personal life where it became harder for me to not reach for s/f/w like a trip to the convenience store - I used to travel from convenience store to convenience store getting my stash night after night and ate the stuff in the car while driving and then would find the next convenience store. So I'm grateful that I found out about the biochemical nature of this disease of food addiction and there is a lot more information in the beginner's pkt which is also available not only in the hard copy which is mailed; but also, in PDF format for immediate download for about half price. I find that if too many of my triggers begin piling up, I'm headed for trouble with a capital T....like if my meal is over an hour late, I'm under stress, feeling lonely, then it's time to turn it all over to my HP and ask for His help to get back on track. It often means being willing to carry my meal or at least pack a MA so that I will have something till I can find the hospital cafeteria and get some abstinent food and being willing to carry a piece of literature with me like the small meditation book with it's wonderful index in the back, my list of phone meetings so I can at least listen in and that usually breaks that awful feeling of being alone with the disease...and hearing your voices on the meetings also breaks any feelings of being all alone in this big, wide world and I carry my list of phone numbers of people that I can call or text from the hospital. This program has given me a path to follow and a 2nd chance at life and I'm so grateful for that...and I no longer view using the tools of the program as an option...they are a lifeline for me now. I can't say that I've ever said that I'm grateful to be a food addict, but I am grateful for this new way of living.

[nevertoolate]

guess we have to find new things to satisfy us and make us happy, huh? There must be other ways than destructive stuff!!!!
marilyn

[step3]

For me, the attachment to the "outside things" started very young and I was always looking for happiness. I just thought, honestly, that I wanted to be happy. I remember a time in my life where my program was going very smoothly and I had a great connection with my Higher Power and others ~ was feeling peaceful, serene, etc., within myself. When problems came up I was able to deal with them by applying the principles I learned in the 12 Steps. I remember having an "Ah Ha!" moment where I realized that I really was happy, and that the reason I was, is because I was doing the things I needed to do, and wasn't struggling or fighting anything or anyone.

The Universe, as it tends to do, decided to test my commitment to this and sent a pretty difficult thing my way, and I didn't keep with that commitment. Long story, but I didn't relapse (thank God) and I'm still here (alive, that is) to tell the tale, and have grown and discovered more about myself as a result. So I always do have that opportunity to decide if I want to live this way or not. Today, I do want to. I'm very grateful for finding FAA because there were deeper places within I needed to go, but the things I was ingesting kept me from being able to do that. So, letting go of all of them (as they were brought to my attention) has been part of the journey "home".

For me, all physical addictive substances are now out of my body, and I still have other things I need to work on. But it's one day at a time, and I've learned that even when not everything in me is perfect, that it's OK for me to be "perfectly imperfect". I'm a work in progress, just as we all are!

[nevertoolate]

Step 3, your messages are so wise and kind...it sounds like you have made an inspirational journey to recovery....thanks for sharing.
Marilyn in Ohio
you must be a wonderful sponsor to people, they are blessed

[step3]

Thanks so much, Marilyn... that's very kind of you to say! A dear program friend always says to me, "We're on a journey with no destination". I think I always was looking forward, to be somewhere and in some space other than "now". Of course, there wouldn't be any problems when I got there, I wouldn't have all these character defects any more, and I could just finally relax. One day when my friend said that to me, I realized that having no destination (this Utopia I was never able to reach) took so much pressure off. Instead, I could just be on the journey, with everyone else, and appreciate who and what I am, just in today. My friend said that phrase to me over and over, and I'm glad for the repetition, because it took a long time for it to make sense. I'm very grateful for where I've been, where I am, and what direction I'm headed in. That's all that really matters, I guess, in the long run: Face in the right direction, then take the first step.

[kathyb]

What if I miss a meal?

[kathyb]

you learn about abstenantence by staying abstenent,you learn about picking up by picking up.Once we pick up the disease is in control of us.

[kathyb]

I become a prisoner to food if I pick up.7 days ago at the end of a binge I felt very nausous and feared a heart attack.Never have to feel that way again.

[nevertoolate]

that is true, you don't have to feel that way again. wish you the best kathy...keep coming back
marilyn
I will keep coming back and maybe I'll get it eventually