Wow, this looks like a great place. I am very excited to have found it. I'm new here and I am so glad to have found it. Let's see, I'm from Wisconsin. My story is something like this: as a kid, my parents kept us from eating a lot of sugary foods. We never had sugary cereals, juices, never had candy or anything of the like in our house. Unfortunately I went out of my way to get it and would go to the dollar store on a weekly basis to buy cheap junk food to get my fix. I was mad that parents wouldn't let us eat this foods, even at birthday parties or holidays, we were never allowed to have desserts. My worst scandal to get my fix was when my neighbor family had left to all go on a bike ride, I knew where their cookie jar was, and I went inside and stole them .
In to my teen years, I would eat in secret whether it was at home or school. I hated, and still do, wearing dresses because shopping for them was a pain and then having to wear one made me look at what I had become. Everyday, I have allowed my emotions control my cravings and my desires for the worst things I can put in my body. I have been gaining weight slowly but consistently for the last five years. My stories to other people for my weight gain include blaming the seasons/cabin fever (it gets cold and dark in WI), my hypothyroid (huge factor but NOT to blame) and whatever other excuses I come up with. I can't go on like this with a good conscience. My days are filled with struggle, staring at vending machines and hoping that candy bar will fill the voids in my life. I know my Higher Power, and I am ready to move forward instead of backward.
I am so excited to see that I am not the only person who struggles with these things!! Ready to become a part of this great support system.
Thanks for reading through my story.
I'm so glad you've found FAA, too! It does sound like you could be in the right place. When I came here, I too berated myself constantly for the way I ate. Mostly, though, I was bewildered by it. I had had a history of yo-yo dieting. I'd have success on a diet, and would feel so "in control", and just plain good about myself because I wasn't eating all that junk. I'd physically feel better. But eventually the time came (it always did!) to get off the diet, and that's when the trouble would really start up again, because I'd introduce what I now know are toxic substances for me, a food addict. Once that happened, it was back onto the merry-go-round that I couldn't get off. <sigh>
My Higher Power did lead me here to FAA, and I'm forever grateful for that. I found out WHY I was eating the way I did, and that once I put any form of sugar/flour/wheat into my body, I was subject to uncontrollable cravings for more. On top of the physical compulsion was a powerful obsession with certain (s/f/w) food things: when could I get them, how much of them could I get, where should I go to get them, etc. I was always either thinking about s/f/w, eating s/f/w, or recovering from the effects of s/f/w. I was a complete slave to food addiction, Mandy!
FAA has a wonderful piece of literature I'd like to recommend to you. It's called the Newcomer's Booklet, and you can find it in the FAA Store:
There are also some great books that are written for food addicts, in particular. You'll see them under "Newcomer's Book Bundle" on the page I gave you (above), and if you decide FAA is for you, you may want to get those too. I know they've really helped me with my understanding of my addiction, getting hope that it can be helped, and lots of motivation as well as the "what to do" part. Good stuff!
In the meantime, please come to some FAA meetings as soon as you can. FAA meetings are an essential part of my recovery, and I keep close to the program through meetings, talks with my sponsor and other FAA members, reading literature, and giving service. I follow the suggested FAA food plan, and because of this I lost all my cravings! That happened in about only a week on the food plan, and cookies and cakes don't tempt me one bit any more, which I find wonderful and miraculous. But that's what can happen when we achieve and maintain our abstinence.
Keep coming, and keep sharing, Mandy.
WELCOME MANDY!! KEEP COMING BACK
Thanks for the welcoming! Just wondering if anyone does any blogging or journaling that they find helpful to their recovery process? I have been doing both for awhile, but writing about recovery is going to be a challenge for me!
It does recommend in the FAA literature that we keep a journal of our experiences as we move along in our recovery. Writing is also one of the Tools for Recovery in FAA. I'm like you, don't like writing so much, but I have found it to be very, very helpful. This forum ("Newly Recovering in FAA") was set up so that people could write about their recovery as they go along, if they'd like. It's good for them, and also great for others to read of the newcomer's experience, strength, and hope. We all do help each other that way!
Keep sharing, Mandy. I'm glad you're here!
Hi Mandy! I too am from WI. I used to steal food and sodas from our rich neighbor back in the day..and from the corner store. You can come here and let go of your shame with the help of your higher power and this program.
Hey Sheila, good to see someone here from our great state ;)
Originally Posted by Sheila
Thanks for your encouragement. I am still mustering up the courage to take that first step!!
Hi Mandy, just one tiny step at a time....letting go of some of the junk food, facing forward toward a solution, it will make you feel a lot better...keep coming back, we are here for you.
Marilyn in Ohio
Thanks Marilyn, and everyone else for the encouraging words! Like I said, I haven't jumped on the abstinence train yet. I believe my body thinks that sugars are still a need, and especially the bad carbs. If I think about it, I would feel like I need them. That was my indication that I am an addict. The phone meetings have been super helpful because I have to hear other people and know that I'm not the only one with this kind of addiction. I am also working on handing this over to my HP, because for long I felt disconnected from my HP because of all this; so I am trying to reconnect and make that blossom into something good.
Originally Posted by nevertoolate
I love this slogan, Mandy: Bring the body, the mind will follow. That's what you're doing by going to the phone meetings. You're hearing the things that will make a difference for you, and one day, something someone says will "click". That's what happened for me by going to phone meetings, and I still go because I need to hear recovery. Meetings are my medicine for this food addiction disease I have. Keep coming!
Originally Posted by Mandy