Family Sit - Down?

[Mandy]

Hi all,

I was thinking about sitting down with my family, parents/in-laws and siblings, to talk with them about my addiction. Fortunately for me, my family is pretty understanding. My parents have both been through AA, they completely understand addiction. My in-laws are really good about eating well and would be more than willing to cater to my needs during the holidays. Last Christmas, my BIL gave my husband and I P90X because my hubs had said something about wanting to lose weight (overall he is healthy, he just has some body-fat he wants to lose). I apprecaite the gester, but I'm sure he is wondering why, a year later, we haven't touched it.

The only person I see being a slight problem is my dad. He and I had a strained relationship while I was growing up and we "mostly" mended things before I got married. However, he comes off as a know-it-all and is always telling me I shouldn't drink because I have a predisposition to alcohol addiction. First, I might have a drink every 6 months but I have never been drunk. Second, I wish he would stop stressing alcohol; he used to tease for me "chubby" when I was young, he has to know something is going on.

Is there anyone who would see this as a good thing? Or anyone who has any hesitations they're willing to share?

[nevertoolate]

My question is WHY would you do this, Mandy? You may need to take care of your own needs during the holidays...bring your own food, etc. and avoid the foods that cause you problems....best wishes to you....keep coming back.
Marilyn in Ohio, 72, and still working on sugar

[Mandy]

Because it's not a secret that I am a food addict. It has never surfaced in conversation, but both sides of my family know this, especially my immediate family. I want them to know that I have come to realize that my addiction has taken enough time and energy away from me, and that I want things to be better all around. And I know that they wouldn't want me to only take care of myself. Just thinking of telling my MIL that, she would say no, I want to help you, she's that kind of person. I guess I don't want to go through this without the support of my family. How many alcoholics go to AA without their family knowing? This would not be an extended family thing - this would be between the people I see the most.

[lbressem]

HI Mandy - our green book Food Addicts Anonymous, tells us that everything about our recovery is our responsibility. The planning, shopping, preparing, etc. Knowing that, it makes sense to me that we share what we're up to with those closest to us, because we want their support. Also, we need to remember that we are powerless over others, and their responses will be theirs, and maybe not what we expect. Ask your Higher Power for guidance and trust yourself. Linda

[step3]

Hi Mandy,
I came into FAA right before the holidays a couple of years ago, and the first person I wanted to know what I had learned about food addiction, was my husband. Even though he is a sober alcoholic, he simply doesn't understand food addiction. I know it must seem strange, but he also never understood my heavy smoking addiction. He does understand alcoholism, though! I guess that's why we all have to have our own separate programs with the singleness of purpose that they have... those of us in FAA can understand each other in a way that my husband and other non-food addicts in my life just don't.

The next person I told was my mother-in-law, who had us over for Christmas that year. I explained about the physical cravings for "more" when I'd put any form of sugar/flour/wheat into my body. Since I do secretly believe she may have "sugar issues", I think my motives were a little suspect, and I was hoping for company in FAA, LOL! Other than that, I haven't informed people about the illness other than to say I am in Food Addicts Anonymous. That's one thing I love about the name of our program... it does say it all, doesn't it?! Of course, if anyone is ever interested, I do refer them to the website, and also to some other literature on food addiction that I found helpful. And I always answer any questions anyone has.

If you believe that taking your father into your confidence right now would be uncomfortable for you, I'd personally say don't bother. As you say, he understands about addiction in general and knows you're a food addict in recovery. This is just me, but I wouldn't want to open up to any kind of criticism he might have. He might get better in time, but you're still in your early abstinence and want to protect it, so not making yourself vulnerable to verbal attack would be taking care of you.

Good luck, Mandy!

[nevertoolate]

HOW IS MANDY DOING? I hope you are well and coming back as long as it takes.....FAA is here for you.
Marilyn

[Mandy]

HOW IS MANDY DOING? I hope you are well and coming back as long as it takes.....FAA is here for you.
Marilyn

Hi Marliyn,

I'm doing really well. Today is my 12th day of abstinence. I went to my first face-to-face meeting yesterday, it was great. My husband (not a food addict) is doing the food plan with me and we are both feeling so much better. I even made it through my first abstinent Thanksgiving!

Thanks for asking! How are you doing?

[shines_so_bright]

Congratulations on Day 12, Mandy! And on your first abstinent Thanksgiving... Woot! Woot!

[Mandy]

Congratulations on Day 12, Mandy! And on your first abstinent Thanksgiving... Woot! Woot!

Thank you! :)

[nevertoolate]

Congrats on 12 wonderful days Mandy!!!! be good to yourself. I'm working on day 2 again, as long as it takes. Have had many great people helping me and am reading kay sheppards book, Food addiction, the body knows, recommended by someone great.
Marilyn