Admitting that I am Powerless

[Penguin]

Hi All,

I'm just 5 days in my abstinence. Just wanted to share a bit of what has helped me thus far...

The number one thing that has gotten me through the brief moments of cravings and doubt is admitting that I am powerless. Once I say the words to myself "I am powerless over my addiction" I feel my whole body relax. Just by saying those 6 words, I give myself up to the food plan. I don't need to bargain with myself, I don't need to calculate what number of calories is right or wrong, I don't need to worry about what I ate earlier or what I will eat later. I realize, I can have no worries at all, because the food plan will take care of it for me. These are the most liberating words I have ever spoken.

This abstinent week, I have been able to focus on my activities more intently because I don't have "food noise" in the back of my mind. It is all taken care of and I can focus on working, learning, and enjoying my life.

Another extremely wonderful tool is Food for the Soul. I love the daily readings, it really gives you something to think about. I think it is so important to remind myself every day why I am here. If I don't, the disease will manifest and convince me that I was okay when I wasn't abstinent and that I can control my weight/eating habits on my own. The disease is a nasty little liar. Whenever it knocks on my door, I just repeat again, "I am powerless over my addiction".

I think that the truest test of my abstinence will come as more events that involve drinking or eating with friends or dating come my way. How do you explain to your friends that you have gone drinking with forever that you are no longer going to get drunk with them? How do you explain to a first date that you don't eat bread or desserts and don't drink wine? How do you explain to coworkers that you are not eating at an event that everyone is eating at? I'm extremely fearful of these situations. I would love to hear suggestions on how to deal with them.

The best thing I could think of is being honest. I feel like when I lie to others I start to lie to myself. Perhaps simply saying "I have a strong emotional reaction to the foods I eat so I choose not to eat them." would suffice. But sometimes divulging that much feels a bit personal.

I would really love to hear someone elses story on how they delt with explaining their abstinence to old friends and new boyfriends.

Best,

Penguin

[chicko3x]

I enjoyed reading your post. I have the same issue with coworkers and friends who "just don't get it" even after a year of consistent packing and planning. I have learned I need to simply ignore the comments, and focus on the event rather than the food or peoples responses. When people around you are more worried about your plate than you are, it shows who has the real issue that needs to be resolved. Lead by example, you never know who may be watching you who is looking for a solution! Cheers!

[greeneyes]

I have just been told of this site. I have a real problem with food, in particular CHOCOLATE NOT SURE IF THIS FOR ME YET THANK YOU FOR YOR POST!!! GOOD LUCK TO YOU

[arleneh8745]

I enjoyed reading your post. I have the same issue with coworkers and friends who "just don't get it" even after a year of consistent packing and planning. I have learned I need to simply ignore the comments, and focus on the event rather than the food or peoples responses. When people around you are more worried about your plate than you are, it shows who has the real issue that needs to be resolved. Lead by example, you never know who may be watching you who is looking for a solution! Cheers!

I have just been told of this site. I have a real problem with food, in particular CHOCOLATE NOT SURE IF THIS FOR ME YET THANK YOU FOR YOR POST!!! GOOD LUCK TO YOU

I am glad yor sharing and keep coming back.. I have to take care of me..Focus on your food plan, ask questions at meetings..
I tell people I am allergic to SWF, and following a food plan that is for my health... Dont have to say the word diet, which means temporary. My family friends dont get it too, that is okay, I need to know for me what I have to do to keep me sane.. Just enjoy your foods and let go and let others do their own thing. You are worth recovery your number one..
keep coming back.

[Rainbow99]

I am glad yor sharing and keep coming back.. I have to take care of me..Focus on your food plan, ask questions at meetings..
I tell people I am allergic to SWF, and following a food plan that is for my health... Dont have to say the word diet, which means temporary. My family friends dont get it too, that is okay, I need to know for me what I have to do to keep me sane.. Just enjoy your foods and let go and let others do their own thing. You are worth recovery your number one..
keep coming back.

Hello, I really felt your pain, concern and your story made me think as a newcomer...these are things I have to think of as well. All of my life, my family is always on me about the bad things I eat and how much I eat...I wonder once I focus on getting healthy if my family would react differently and say things like, "Are you sure you don't want to eat that slice of pie, it's Thanksgiving." As if they want to see if I'm going to mess up, so to them it is a little test...I already know it's going to happen because it has happened in the past when I was on weight watchers I just counted the points. When I was going through my struggles with food, I just ate it and would say once I finished, "Thank you, that's my slice of pie for the year." I always felt guilty though after I ate it, because I didn't stand up for myself. This year will be a real change for me with my family because they are always saying little comments to me about my health even if I don't bring it up. As for co workers, they are just as bad if I tell them I started weight watchers again...they say good luck and change the subject or if there is a cupcake or something they will ask if I would like one...usually I say yes and justify the situation in my head by saying,"You haven't had a cupcake in a few months, it's ok."
I think we need to just be honest and if we relapse just start over. We not only need to be honest with ourselves, we need to be honest with our loved ones and co workers and friends. My mother and my best friend tell me they only eat bad when they are around me...that makes me feel terrible that I encourage bad eating habits. I don't want to be the person who allows others to eat that slice of pie or pizza or cupcake. I want to be the one that says, "I really don't want it, thank you for offering, it looks delicious." It is hard for me to stand up for myself and say no to anything and that is something I will be learning through this program and another that I signed up for as well. I just registered tonight and would like to add you as a friend if I could because I feel that we need to support each other. As for boyfriends, I will tell them that I am in the process of changing my lifestyle and if he can't accept that, then he and I should just be friends...again, that would be very hard for me to do. It's easier to say to someone else but to actually say it to that person is hard. I do not drink at all either and I go through the Oh you don't want just one glass of wine for a birthday celebration...from my own 92 year old grandmother!! And trust me, she does not act 92 by far, she is younger than me in so many ways lol. Thank you for posting your post, you are the first person I replied too!! Let's help each other.