This is kind of strange to talk about. I've always been outgoing by nature and stuff, love being in the center. But when i've got abstinence i get this fear for people. It's almost like i'm getting some kind of panic-attack or something.
Like i feel like now i got a lot of friends, but if i get abstinent i will first behave "strangely" some days and then loose all my friends and be alone in my life when im abstinent from sugar.
Of course this sounds strange when i talk about it but it's so real in my head.
What can i do about it? Help really need some advice on this...
Hi - the disease of food addiction is cunning and frightening. When we're not abstinent, the voice of the disease can tell us to do crazy things, and we'll believe it and do them. Once I became abstinent, the voice of the disease diminished. I haven't lost any friends, nor do I feel isolated because I eat a bit differently. In fact, some of my friends are adopting parts of my food plan. Please dont let the disease undermine your will to be abstinent. Linda
It's good that you are facing your fears.
I was fearful of being different than those around me - of being abstinent and not eating the same foods. Of not celebrating by eating the cake and whatever else was being served. And tomorrow I'll be going to a baby shower and there will be lots of foods there that are not on the food plan and of course the usual cake and other stuff. I'm planning to eat before I go and take my MA in case this shower runs over too long which wouldn't surprise me. They are much more supportive of me now than when I first began this food plan. But they have seen me try and try again to control the food and control my weight and fail miserably time and time again - so I guess it's not too unusual if I look at it like that. And also by my eating in a more healthy way, I make the rest of them uncomfortable - I've changed the family dynamics somewhat. They no longer wave candy under my nose and tease me with biscuits - you know you want that....sure I wanted it; but I decided that I wanted to learn to eat in a healthy manner also. They are much more accepting of my way of eating now and I'm glad that I didn't cave in to that early pressure to conform.
Abstinence has definitely changed my social life, and my disease has tried to put it down. Since alot of my friends from before we're strictly "binge buddies," when I became abstinent I no longer had that in common with them. Yes we still talk and they are still my friends, but I will no longer be their "4 am binge partner" if that makes sense. Some of my friends reacted badly when I no longer would join their self loathing etc, but you are only responsible for your half of the friendship. My disease has called me a loner, outcast, loser you name it, but deep down I know that bringing back those days of binging with friends would not be worth it one bit. The friendships I have gained since becoming abstinent are much stronger, but the one friendship I am most thankful for is the friendship with myself! Cheers to a great abstinent journey