How to get past my dislike of all the GOD talk?
I need help. I was abstinent for 4-5 months and now I'm not. When I was participating in service, I had a realisation that I found many struggles in this 12 step program.
I am not new to 12 stepping..been sober 10 years this year.I am a very spiritual person, but not in a religious way. Yes, I know..not a religious program but a spiritual one..but really? I have my beliefs about life, the world, etc and the issue is, I have NO idea 'who' I'd be handing stuff over to, asking for help, etc.
Obviously when I got sober, I believed in GOD. A religious one. But things have changed. I also really struggle with the 'sponsor' concept. Aurgh..
I just want to go through these steps without feeling corny about it all. I tend to analyse everything..it's just a part of what makes me ME. I'm also a tad of a perfectionist..in case you couldn't tell.
I really want to get this program. I really want freedom from my addiction to food. It is so painful.
Can anyone relate to what I'm saying? Can you give me some advice or hope?
Thanks in advance,
Kristy in Australia :)
Welcome to Food Addicts Anonymous ....Kristy
Originally Posted by misspdawg
I can relate to the perfectionist thing..who uses white out on their menu planner?? LOL!!...I realized. When I was looking for the white out and another loving food asked me what do you need the white out for? I told him to white out a food change on my menu and he said to me whats wrong with just scratching it out and writing in the food change? Then is dawned on me I really am a perfectionist...I need to let go of that, I really do.
I have been trying to get this program from the beginning,I found out in order to do that I need to do the work, really really do the work, the steps are the way out of this terrible mess I got my perfect self into, I need to most importantly stay abstinent, use all the tools when ever in trouble or food thoughts pop in my head!!
When I came in here in Jan of 2009. GOD was good orderly direction and I know there is also the GOD who lead me here to Food Addicts Anonymous...I do beleive...I didn't follow GOD until after about almost 2 years of using artificial sweetners....finally got rid of them 12-17-10 and now I am abstinent ...although not perfect and never will be at anything... I don't eat sugar flour or wheat...at least not today and I am not going to quit no matter what!! I will keep coming back...You see I am a work in progress.
I have found a freedom here...like I never would of imagined ever...like living a dream!! Truly living the dream..the cravings have gone away, I feel fantastic it is amazing!! So I will keep coming back.
Advise keep coming back, try 90 meetings in 90 days, Get a sponsor and stick around until the miracle happens, call me or email me anytime!
Last edited by alicemdavid; 05-21-2012 at 01:14 AM.
Alice abstinent food addict recovering in -PA
You have voiced what so many have thought about. What I have found over the years in 12 Steps (since 1976) is that my concept of God has been an evolving kind of thing. That phrase "God as we understand God" used to sometimes get to me. I'd say, "But I don't understand God!" And that's OK. I think the first step is just to realize that I'm not "it".
As for working the Steps, it does sound like you have enough to work with,Kristy. You don't have to have a perfect understanding to be able to work the Steps and get the benefit and growth that comes from that. Making a start is sometimes all that's needed. The Steps are a spiritual path through life and how you are able to work them now will be completely different than how you work and live them ten years from now.
The important thing at this point is to go back to Step One so that you can regain your abstinence. If you are not able to work with a sponsor as a "boss" (some like this, some don't), consider finding an FAA friend with more time in the program who can help guide you. You don't have to do this alone!
Thank you for sharing, Kristy. Keep coming back!
I tend to intellectualize stuff to the "nth" degree also. I tend to "live" in my head instead of experiencing life on life's terms. And I tend to want things to be perfect in a very imperfect world or at least what I can see of it is looking somewhat imperfect. I tend to be judgmental of others as well as myself.
Working this program of recovery has been helping me to just accept life on life's terms and things got sooo much easier once that happened. Once I stopped expecting life to be fair, things got much easier and made more sense in the long run. It is what it is and I have little control and it was such a relief to accept that.
When someone explained that I didn't need to understand how the electricity worked before I flipped a switch to have the lights come on, that seemed to help me understand that I don't need to come up with all the answers. I just need to be willing to believe that if this program of recovery works for others, then it can work for me also.
There is something very powerful about accepting the solution (for food addiction) as well as accepting the problem of food addiction.
Hope you will set aside your doubts and fears and join us on this road to recovery.
I totally get what you're saying. I celebrated 10 years sober in December and got abstinent in January. I'm not new to the whole 12 step thing, and God (since that's the word everyone uses and understands) changes for me constantly - as I am constantly evolving also.
When I first got sober my sponsor was like a slave driver. Someone else replied something about a "boss" sponsor. That's totally what I had. I still have that sponsor today and we have an amazing relationship. I can even talk to her about my abstinence, even though she doesn't totally understand food addiction. She doesn't have to. Today, in FAA, I have a network of people I talk to; one person I share my menu information with regularly; and I have the little white book from FAA to work the steps from. I do a lot of that by myself and then process it with people. I'm not down for cheesy, corny stuff anymore. But I have to stay honest with myself, which I do, and I get honest with other people. Find someone to process with. Stay honest with you! And do what we do - put one foot in front of the other - when we do that eventually we find out we're moving forward!