How Do you Become Abstinent?

[Penny]

Hi, I'm new here. I used to attend another meeting that was being held about 40 miles away from me (another 12 step group for eating, but wasn't FAA). I didn't even know FAA existed until I began reading a book by Kay Sheppard, "Food Addiction ~ The Body Knows". I was intrigued about FAA and came online to check it out. I also joined the Yahoo group. Today was my first day of receiving and reading the Yahoo posts. My heart skipped a beat to read that so many other people KNOW HOW I FEEL! Reading about other people's sneaky eating, etc... made my senses perk up!

The downfall is that the closest face-to-face meeting for me is a 3 hr drive away. That's just not economical for me. I've read that there are phone meetings, but I'm still lost as to what number to call for sure and what times the meetings are. I see that there are online meetings on the weekends and I'm very excited about that.

The other 12 step program meetings that I attended made me feel awkward and angry when I left. I didn't feel right there as everyone seemed depressed and didn't have what I was looking for. My husband, who has gone to many AA meetings, told me I should be feeling better, not worse and angry when I come home from those meetings. Needless to say, I quit going. That was several years ago.

I'm hoping to find friendship, support, understanding of what's going on in my mind without all the negativism.

Thanks!
Penny

[step3]

Welcome to FAA, Penny!

I'm glad you've found our program... I too was in another 12 Step program for food issues and it just wasn't a good fit for me. I left there after losing the weight I wanted to lose, and in that sense, I really was only there for a diet, I've since realized. That was many years ago, and I went through a really rough time with food addiction and reached rock bottom before finding FAA through... you guessed it, having Kay Sheppard's book "Food Addcition: The Body Knows" come into my hands, just as what happened for you!

This has turned out to be the right place for me, and I felt at home from the very first meeting I ever attended. It happened to be a phone meeting, as there were no face-to-face meetings in my state at the time. Fortunately, there are over 35 phone meetings per week, so there's lots of support and lots of options for attending as far as the times are concerned. The phone number to use and the schedule are here:

http://www.foodaddictsanonymous.org/

I'm so glad you like the FAA Loop (the 24/7 Internet meeting). It too is a wonderful resource.

Keep coming back, Penny. This program does work!

step3

[nevertoolate]

I think you become abstinent one tiny step at a time, chipping away at it, eliminating the sugary stuff, the floury stuff, anything with wheat in it.....slow works best for some of us, others go cold turkey...not for me but if it works for you, more power to you.....it takes awhile to get on the food plan and to get all the old food out of your house (if you can, what if you have a family and need to keep it for them?)...it takes awhile to get used to planning meals instead of stopping at fast food places, takes awhile to practice driving by McD and places like that...changing patterns and habits takes time... it's not an overnight thing...and then come the 12 steps to help us change our lives...one step at a time. Becoming abstinent is a process, I believe.....
Marilyn

[JourneyOfLight]

Have been attempting to do this my way for so long. For years have proclaimed that this FAA way of doing recovery is just as much of a disease as being addicted. Too rigid. Well, brief periods of what looked like success, and then, once again crashed & burned. Doing it my way has not worked well consistently. Hope I have reached my bottom. Hope I am ready to embrace another way (FAA) that is working fconsistently for others; releasing them from the viscous food cycle and allowing them to spend valuable energy living on purpose. I absolutely agree that many physical difficulties resolve themselves when I choose to eat foods other than wheat, flours, sugars. As much as I would like my body to decrease in size I know this has to be about changing my behavior from the inside out. My body will simply adjust to my behaviors. I know that I am responsible for my choices. So why are my head and heart are struggling to not have to do a food plan or measure. I tell myself that at this stage of the game I know what a serving size is and that a food plan is too rigid. And yes, I am still struggling. No face-to-face in Arkansas. Although computer literate I am finding all of the FAA info and how to access it - in particular using this forum, simply posting to the message board, the phone meetings, and hopefully finding a sponsor - totally overwhelming. I am not helpless, yet I need help. Not even sure I will know how to come back and check to see if anyone answers this post.

[shines_so_bright]

Welcome to FAA, JourneyOfLight!

I hope you do find your way back here! It sounds like you're in the process of surrendering to the fact of your food addiction. This is not an easy process for probably anyone, but until it happens, abstinence is hard to maintain. I feel a little differently about weighing & measuring my food for the food plan. I learned here (and other places I've learned about food addiction from) that volume eating, or restricting of food, leads back to relapse, so weighing & measuring helps me to know that I'm eating the right amounts. I knew what various amounts looked like on a plate, but I learned also that when I don't w & m, I have a tendency for the servings to get larger and larger over time. That's one of the ways my disease starts to show up. So, the scale and the measuring cups and spoons help to keep me from going back to where I came from. Yes, there have been times when I didn't want to w & m, felt resentful or rebellious, but when I'm living in a surrendered state, I find that I don't fight the food plan or what's asked of me to recover. I've been learning that when I start to do well, and decide to take my will and life back into my own hands, it never ever works and I end up miserable. It happens every time! So I need to be humble and know that I'm a food addict, I have a food addict's biochemistry, and I'll never be able to eat sugar/flour/wheat or volume the way I used to... at least not if I want to live a free, useful, and happy life.

Keep coming back, JourneyOfLight, and keep sharing! Getting those fears and doubts out, not holding onto them, will be a big help for you in your new recovery. Thanks for sharing!

[here42da]

Hi JourneyOfLight,
My way never worked for me, and it took a long time to determine that fact. It is kind of funny that when I would have an issue around something I was dealing with, that in mentioning the situation, I would get feedback, and yet not want to follow the information that would be valuable to my recovery. Hopefully I have learned enough lessons from those experiences that I will be more ready to listen and follow though in the right way. I don't know why I thought I was someone who would not fall prey to the little subtle hinderences that wanted to creep in and then once succombed would have a real hay day with my abstinence. Oh so much to learn. If I can help with any other information having to do with phone meetings, or anything else, I will leave my contact information in your private message and you can give me a call or e-mail me. To locate this: scroll back up to the top of the page on the right side and you will find a place where it says notifications. (it will be right after your user name) If there is a number there, it means someone has sent you a private message. you will then click on that and it will take you to that message. This is a seperate part from where we are posting at the moment. To see if someone has responded to what you wrote, just come back to the same place and it will be the next post after your posting. Sometimes there are several additional posts.
Here42da

[stacie4171]

Thanks to facebook i finally found this webpage and am thankful for it. my hardest is taking that first step and learning what is good and what is bad to eat. where should i start? i plan on getting the food plan guide to help there. im just feeling hurt and confused i let myself get to this point. Please give me helpful tips how you got started.

[nevertoolate]

Hi, Stacie, one way to get started is to just slowly cut back on sugar products, it takes a couple of weeks to get through the withdrawal period and then you feel much better, same with flour and wheat products...take a couple of weeks to get off them and then you will be able to think a lot more clearly and feel better.....this is not a diet program as you may already know...there is a food plan but it's not a diet at all, just a healthy guide to eating...that will help you stay off the addictive crap like sugar/flour and wheat products.....it's not easy, but with the support of online FAA people (it's free...self supporting group)it doable and possible...there is hope here...welcome adn keep coming back
marilyn in ohio, 72 and feeling better every day

[KatSwa]

I need help!

I have suspected for a long time that I am a food addict. Since I was a preteen I have struggled with food. Recently I have found myself trying to go sugar-free only to make it a week before relapsing and binging on sugar. I know I eat "emotionally", my biggest struggle seems to be in the evening after my daughter goes to bed. All I want to do is watch tv and eat sugary food (cereal, icecream, candy etc). I have had some "success" in the past with a low-carb diet but since I became pregnant with my daughter and rediscovered simple carbs, I have been on a spiral of sugar-shame :( I am about 30-35 lbs overweight and I am so depressed about all of this. A friend of mine told me about FAA. Unfortunately there are NO live meetings in my area so I thought I would try reaching out here. I have a lot of fear and hesitation, trying this program. I'm afraid I will fail, or that I will feel deprived. I have a million excuses but I think they are just keeping me sick :(
Recently my mom was diagnosed with Type II diabetes and she is a thin person. Apparently it runs rampant in our family! I want to get control over this addiction before I develop serious health problems. I also want to model healthy-eating for my daughter! And stop the cycle of addiction in my family.
I've had other disordered behavior around eating- purging, methamphetamine (to stop the hunger), exercise addiction etc. I want a new way to live! I'm tired of hiding my eating...I'm tired of obsessing about food!
Please help.

[here42da]

Welcome to our group. This is a wonder loving fellowship of people who have come here with a common problem, that of food addiction. I was so filled with gratitude to come to the understanding that I have a biochemical disease. If I eat anything with sugar, flour or wheat, or any of their, substitutes, alternatives, and so on, that it sets up the cravings for more, more, more. We have some wonderful literatature that talks about this aspect of the disease. The most fantastic thing is the way that I don't experience any cravings now. I am eating enough food, and it is to nourish my body. Here is a good link to go to:

http://www.foodaddictsanonymous.org/are-you-food-addict

For ordering information:

http://www.foodaddictsanonymous.org/catalog/4

Also just wanted to share that something I experience with others a lot is that they automatically think because I do not do sugar, that I can have sugar free things. Well, we who have been in program for a spell know that sugar free for most people doesn't mean there is no sugar in it, but that usually means it is laced with some type of artificial type of sugar, which is many times even worse then the real thing. It also causes our brains to react in the same way as the regular sugar. This goes for the wheat and flour items as well. The labels on ingredients that we should beware of are things like lite, free, there are many more just can't think of them now. The information in the guide to abstinence as well as the other names for s/f/w are very valuable fto read and to protect our abstinence or even to achieve abstinence. Take it a little at a time. You can do this. We all started somewhere. One day at a time.