Very aware of my powerlessness over food addiction as of yesterday. The craziness, never being satisfied. I miss reading the loop so I am writing here. Unmanageability is a foggy brain, can't cope or deal with things. Today is a new day, by the Grace of God. Abstinent day. I hope people start typing in the forum until the loop is fixed. Thank you for listening and being there.
Gratefully abstinent food addict, Nadine :P
I haven't heard that the loop is broken. Eventually, I think it will be here.
I take Step 1 everyday. Life is so much better than it was while eating sugar, flour and wheat. In addition, I unfortunately have been witness to several people who have died of the disease-this keeps my powerlessness in my view.
Food is so hard to not eat all the time literally like honestly I don't even know when I am full anymore and I eat more when I am depressed and when I am bored and my mom died from obesity and many other things unfortunately when I was 16 and I am 23 now and she was an overeater which also scares me and I really do need help! :cry:
:(
Hang in there, surrender and get abstinent. My hunger mechanism was broken before I got abstinent from sugar, flour and wheat. Now I can tell the difference between a craving and hunger.
There is a whole other world after going through withdrawal. I felt so much better. The quality of my life is better than I could have imagined.
I understand this isn't just a diet but a lifestyle change. I didn't start binging until I lost 50 pounds. I gained 15 pounds back because I couldn't control my cravings but now I see it's because I got hooked to diet drinks. I couldn't even drink regular water without a flavor packet. I'm only on my second day but I know if I stick to it and stay abstinent, my intence cravings will get less and less. Like addicts of other things, those temptations won't go away but at least they will get kess and less. I'm lucky to have a boyfriend/fiance who understands my problem and encourages me but I am looking for an FAA sponsor.
Until then, everyday is Day 1; a new beginning, a new me. I'm freeing myself of my addictions and finding joy in other ares in life, my friends, my love, and my studies.
I too relapsed due to diet drinks. Not off the wall but enough to take off the well-being of total abstinence. I read today the FAA news of "no sweeteners" and so as of right now I am eliminating even the saccharin. 'Cos it is like reefer madness... you get used to the sweet "taste" and then even want things that have other artificial sweeteners in them. Nothing is made with pure saccharin anymore. Then you start flirting with real sugar. Halt!
It's been my experience that it takes about 21 days to shed not only the accumulated toxins from eating SWF but also the "habit" of eating this stuff. Like, if your life has been sandwiches and Starbucks on the run, how the heck do you feed yourself now? And eating out with all the hidden flour and fats in everything... It's a war zone of addiction out there.
Part of abstinence for me is stopping the "dumb act" like I didn't see the chinese food cook just ladle in about 3 cups of oil plus corn starch in my food, or didn't taste the sweetness of sugar that didn't make it on the label of that new salsa... We all know everything. It's just a process of opening up to the responsibility of that awareness, and acknowledging that we do "see", and refusing to let ourselves be fed these toxins not only by ourselves but restaurants, loved ones... Tall orders.
I pray every day for that kind of clarity and vision... When I've eaten something that knocks me out, it just leads to more bad choices. These are the times I "lay low." Clean food, clean mind brings inner peace. Brings abstinence. Restores our connection with the world. And this program shows us a path to get there no matter where we are right now.
That rocks.
pg.67 Food addicts Anonymous bookWe admitted we were powerless over our food addiction-that our lives had become unmanageable
For me the first step is about the awareness that I am an addict and that food can take me places I truly do not want to go...and it has. With recovery I begion to see what life can be without the use and abuse of food to cope with my every moment. Understanding that my life was unmanageable and outside of my control was huge although my behaviors were testement to just how low I could go in the getting and finding ways to eat and hide...
Today (in abstinence ) I continue to use this step and the "we " is a big part because I know I am not alone and this (food addiction) is truly a disease of isolation. When I follow my food plan (without rationalizations and justification) it is miraculous at where i can go in my life and for that I am ever grateful...
May we all have an absolutely peaceful abstinent day...Vickie
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